Don't know how to live... *TW*

Hi quietgirl2538.

Em... I didn't saying that what you do is shameful) Instead I thing its cool what you do, really) I'm proud of you ore something like that)

Can't you tell me how much electrician earn, the lowest by U.S.? I just want to compare in my country and in "decaying west where the economy will soon collapse because of national debt" how our TV and some people says

Neko__Neko wrote:Hi quietgirl2538.

Em... I didn't saying that what you do is shameful) Instead I thing its cool what you do, really) I'm proud of you ore something like that)

Can't you tell me how much electrician earn, the lowest by U.S.? I just want to compare in my country and in "decaying west where the economy will soon collapse because of national debt" how our TV and some people says

Thank you for saying you are proud of me for being an electrician. I've had people look at me funny when I tell them I've been an electrician.

Earnings for electricians vary from city to city or areas. Where I live, the lowest is $24,000. The highest is $42,000. I've seen electricians earn up to between $80,000 to even $150,000 in certain fields. It's also the experience and time they have worked in the company. It just depends on the type of electrical work. There is journeyman electrician, boat electrician, different machinery. Long hours too. Some companies work 24/7 so it's also shifts and overtime that is part of the pay. Also it's more dangerous work too which pays more.

quietgirl2538 wrote:
Thank you for saying you are proud of me for being an electrician. I've had people look at me funny when I tell them I've been an electrician.

I don't think that is funny... But I feel stupidly... Maybe I overrating what people do comparing with myself... It all look very hard to me... Heh I remembered one thing... When I was young I was sure that everyone want to die, that people don't killing their selves only because afraid of god, and don't wanting to hurt the families and friends...

quietgirl2538 wrote:Earnings for electricians vary from city to city or areas. Where I live, the lowest is $24,000. The highest is $42,000. I've seen electricians earn up to between $80,000 to even $150,000 in certain fields. It's also the experience and time they have worked in the company. It just depends on the type of electrical work. There is journeyman electrician, boat electrician, different machinery. Long hours too. Some companies work 24/7 so it's also shifts and overtime that is part of the pay. Also it's more dangerous work too which pays more.

Is this money in a year? 2000$ per month for my country is big... There are who earn that much and bigger but in % I think there are not of people with this salary... Someone electricians earn 105$ per month... Well the middle is around 300$-600$ I guess... I don't want do any job here, I just hate who earns on human labor, sometimes contemptuously, and I heard stories when the employer does not pay wages for months and some even years... Well If I don't have any money I go somewhere... But its really hard to do any job...

Those earnings are *per year*

quietgirl2538 wrote:Those earnings are *per year*

Oh didn't I offended you? Sorry if I did...

Neko_Neko,
No, of course you did not offend me, not at all

Hi again… I think a lot about of my life and now I feel that I understand all better that ever… I feel myself stupid child that don’t want to accept the facts… Although it is clear why, it’s hard to accept, that all my life, all what I did was in vain… Need to grown up… Dreaming about emigration… stupid… I feel ashamed in front of myself… But now it will be different, I need to stop living in illusions and pull myself together… I constantly restrain myself, afraid doing a lot of things, fearing that how it will affect the future…in no way…nothing will change, but time is wasting… I wasted so much time in life…for what… Well now not make the mistakes of the past…I always wanted to be better than I am… When was depression, I afraid to accept that I have it because if I have it I will never get out from that country, will have no money and nobody help me… Anyway that doesn’t matter now… For some time, I hoped that emigration can became purpose and meaning of life… But I know that is not, it won’t help me, even I teleported there and live in own house and have money… its too late… I was afraid to tell myself that my life is over, that it can’t be really… But now I feel strong enough to accept it… Now I see how things actually are… Now I see the purpose of my life, I know what I want… I want to die, but still pity for wasted time and effort… I will try to take everything from life, while health permits, alcohol, drugs… I never used drugs, but I can’t wait when start… I will do sex without condoms and try to grab as many diseases can be, and I will do a lot of things that I was afraid… How could I be so stupid before, how I could not understand… I reviewed my life, first looked sober view, assessed my abilities and opportunities, so if die, its better die faster and with music)


All I write from beginning… It makes me a little happier that I did it… It gives some kind of sense in my life, that all I did was not fully vainly… So stupid… Well never mind, at least I think I did what I must to do, before I die… Don’t know why lol… Well… I don’t say goodbye to you, I will look here. Maybe I will live 5 or even 10 years… But… I think it will be 1-3 years… Thank for spend time on me…really)

Neko__Neko wrote:Dreaming about emigration… stupid… I feel ashamed in front of myself…
[...]
I constantly restrain myself, afraid doing a lot of things, fearing that how it will affect the future…

I spot a contradiction here. It did take me a few years, though, to go from dreaming about moving to another country to actually doing it, but the only thing I regret is that I didn't do it sooner.

Big hugs Neko__Neko.

Oliveira wrote:I spot a contradiction here. It did take me a few years, though, to go from dreaming about moving to another country to actually doing it, but the only thing I regret is that I didn't do it sooner.

Big hugs Neko__Neko.

Oh hi... I just don't believe that I can be happy, that when I emigrate all be good... I afraid that its too late... lol today I feel very bad, when my boyfriend come he said that I am very hot (temperature meaning) and maybe I got flu, but with him I start feel better and some time pass and he said that temperature is normal... I didn't even noticed it, just was feeling very bad, like I am going crazy... Well I go sleep... I rarely get enough sleep, its hard to fall asleep, the most hardest part is in the morning, when I wake up, but need some hours more to sleep, but I can't because I feel nervous and some type of lite panic... So I rarely get enough sleep, maybe today I can do it...

Big hugs to you...if you don't mind lol...

I love hugs. Check out my signature

When I was depressed in 2003-2004 I didn't believe I would ever be happy again. Or that there was a point to clinging to my life. I was wrong. 100% wrong. Completely absolutely totally wrong. I found happiness with work, love, sex, art, living in a great place, nature, my passion, writing my first book, watching Vikings riding a motorbike for the first time and discovering how speed (not drug) feels – as passenger, but still – it's a first step. I quit substance abuse. I'm happily married now. And I never got any STDs

Honestly, the depression will go one day but if you wreck your body irreversibly you won't really be able to enjoy the fact that your life has a meaning again. It's surprisingly hard to die, and equally surprisingly to discover you will need medication for the rest of your life, a liver transplant and a long time in rehab.