Distrust of Doctors

Has anyone here not sought out help from a psychiatrist because you didn't trust you could be helped? I suffered from severe depression for a year before I tried to treat it with medication. By then it was too late and I stayed depressed for another two years. Severely depressed. I was always told I needed to go to talk therapy and I felt like I was blamed for my depression. I thought if I fixed my life I wouldn't have an episode. I let myself suffer because I thought I had no power to change things. I'm so angry this happened to me. I had to try several medications to come out of it.

Big hugs if wanted.

Yes, I spent the first year of my depression, 2003-2004, thinking that I can't be fixed and that it's all my fault. When I finally became seriously suicidal, I decided to give this doctor thing a try first. I spent 1.5 years on medication and then tapered down very slowly. And I was OK. But I realised that there are things in my past that are still itching -- George Michael wrote this: "I changed my name to get rid of the things I want from you/but a name is a name and the truth is the truth". That was how I felt; I moved to another country, had my name legally changed, but I still knew that there was something in me I needed to work on.

For me, therapy was the missing manual for life that I didn't get. It hurt, yes, but I found out that my thinking was skewed; I was not at fault with a lot of things that happened to me that I thought were normal but they were serious abuse and really terrible things of various sorts. The therapist worked as a mirror for me -- I'd tell him things and he'd say "wow, that's really terrible" and I'd be a bit like "is it? oh, I thought it was normal". Then he'd ask me questions and I'd answer until I realised I just contradicted myself within two minutes. I definitely recommend talk therapy. This might sound like a cliche but it really changed my life for the better. It's not about you being blamed at all. It helps you find out that things are different than your brain thinks.

If you'd like to ask me any questions about therapy (non-professional though, just from experience) please do!

Hello,
I've spent most of my life avoiding therapy and psychiatrists. When I have seen them, I've only told them small bits of what was going on out of fear that they would hospitalize me against my will, or diagnose me with something horribly severe and put me on medication that would turn me into a zombie. Well... it was a terrible idea. I'm in really bad shape now. I'm also horribly confused and upset. I think that part of me also thought I couldn't be helped, because if I thought I could be helped I probably would have been more honest about my symptoms when I did see someone. I probably would have stayed on medication more often. I usually think my distrust is due to stigma and the threat of hospitalization, but it's really very complex.