I am very depressed about my physical appearance. Help?

The shape of the bones around my face is weird and doesn't compliment my small face at all, my nose is flat and like a 5 year old child's, not masculine or adult like at all, and my eyes are small because my eyelids are slightly too narrow horizontally and my lower eyelids need to be pulled down so my eyes don't look slitty. The corners of my mouth also turn down making me look angry constantly (strangers come up to me and ask why I am so angry!) and even more less approachable than I already am.

Well my mother doesn't agree with it, I'm going to try and get my eyes sorted out and pay for that surgery at a private clinic and I'm going to see a psychiatrist in a few months to talk about the more major surgery as if it's affecting you so bad you can get surgery for free. My mother keeps asking me why I have no friends, never go out and have no girlfriend, and it's because of the way I look. I've hated my appearance and have been crippled by it since I was 10 years old. I've never been happy.
My mother has called me ugly on two occasions yet denies I'm ugly. She says I look like her and her dad so how could I be ugly. Well they don't have the combination of problems I have.
She also says even after the surgery I won't be happy because hollywood stars get cosmetic surgery and it isn't enough.
I've been diagnosed with chronic fatigue caused entirely by depression. I also was diagnosed with a severe heart problem that manifested similar to atrial fibrilation with tachycardia. An investigation revealed that stress was causing this. This 'heart condition' has almost killed me on two occasions when my heart rate spontaneously exceeded 200 BPM.

My mother said I'm like a child. Well I can't grow up or mature much when I haven't had the chance to because my life was impeded by my deformities. I feel like I've only survived and not lived a single day in my life. I see people at my college who look normal and have none of my weird facial problems and I feel like punching them in the face because I am so jealous. I hated how I looked for 10 years and people's comments on my appearance only confirmed what I knew.

My mother is also very fond of the ''looks don't matter'' analogies. She doesn't believe all the studies I threw at her about how employers judge by appearance and how there is a scientific standard of attractiveness (I also showed her examples of animals choosing mates based on their appearance). Nobody has ever offered any sort of attraction towards me.

I cannot look in the mirror or it causes a massive panic attack that lasts all day and it distracts me from working. It's literally a ***dream*** of mine to look normal, and I find that incredibly distressing.

Unfortunately, we live in a media driven society that has brainwashed many people into judging others based on looks. Luckily, there are still many people who do NOT judge others for their looks; these are the people you wan't to be friends with in the first place so don't worry about the judgmental people or what they say/think. I have not seen you but I would bet you are more critical about your looks then you should be. Many times when people are beaten down over their looks they will grow up to judge themselves way to hard and think they are way uglier than they really are. I bet you have some really great talents and there is something you have to offer the world that no one else can; even if you don't know what that is yet. The other thing to think about is that societal pressures have made you perceive yourself negatively. What if you were living in a jungle as a nomad with no people around? Would you still think you were ugly or even care? No! An animal can be the ugliest creature on the planet and it won't care because there isn't anyone to give it a hard time about its looks. The best thing you can do for yourself is to ignore societies "standards" which have been set by the media and just do you. Be the best person you can. Try to be personable and friendly. One very important thing you should work on is being more confident in yourself which isn't easy but can be accomplished with hard work. You may want to think about seeing a psychologist or therapist who could help you through motivational interviewing and talking with you about some of your issues. One more thing to point out, as you get older your peers will become less and less judgmental in regards to your looks; they will start judging you for your character, personality, and work ethic. Kids are brutal and even college students in there early 20's can be mean and disrespectful; many times because they are insecure and it makes them feel better about themselves. Stay strong and focus on what you want to accomplish with your life and in your career; don't let your perception of the way you look get in the way of the great things you can accomplish in life.

I also suffer a lot due to my physical appearance. *mod edit*

I've had plastic surgery, haven't had much luck in them actually going right so far. Very often my looks cause me to experience mental breakdowns and have made me suicidal a few times.

I don't know if I will suicide now... Because I think if I became so ugly I couldn't function, I would withdraw from friends and live a life like Mr. Bean: a weird man going around completely alone. I may have a dog for company.