Can depression be caused and reversed?

I read people with depression had depression, and they treat it because it's there. But can something cause it? And if it's being caused can it be reversed?

For example, I lost my spouse. I am in a bad place, it's years already no improvement. But I know it can't happen, but if she were still here (like in sci-fy movies where time travel is possible) I'd snap out of it right away. Can depression just stop like that? Or is depression a constant where it's underlying all the time and changing the situation doesn't stop it instantly? I'm trying to figure out if I have depression. I cry every day for hours and it's mostly grief I know that, but it's been years. I can't change the loss, so the crying won't stop. I'm looking in to depression, but the doctor says no because when I'm not thinking about her I'm not crying. Dr said it doesn't turn on and off in the snap of the fingers. I said but it's destroying my life, I don't do anything anymore because everything reminds me of her and all I do is cry now. Dr said it's not depression, but we can explore in trying to help you live your life. So the dr wouldn't prescribe antidepressants saying they won't help at all for what I'm experiencing.

So I'm asking people with depression for their advice as they should know what it is.
I haven't lost my ability to want to do fun things, I stopped doing them because they remind me of my loss, leads to crying.
I have recently however started to feel like what is the point of wanting things in life, if all I am going to be doing is crying for all of my life. That made me think it was depression. But the direct cause is my loss causing me all my suffering. And if I didn't have the loss I would not be crying or even sad. I was never sad for more than just days in my whole life, now I'm sad on and off every day for over 2 years with no signs of improving.

What do you all think? And does anything help?

Hello,

in 2004 I had three things happen: my grandmother died, I split up with my boyfriend and my best friend moved three hours away.

I was terribly sad and grieved all three of those. But half a year in I started realising that the pain and sadness is not subsiding at all. And a few months later I realised that I am no longer drowning in the gray mud because of what happened, but it seemed to have become my permanent state. I recall walking past a billboard with something funny on it and saying "ha ha" and realising I have no idea when I last laughed.

My depression was atypical, which means I went low and then back to "normal" sometimes twice a day. I would spend hours on the floor staring at the ceiling and feeling absolutely terrible, and then at some point I would suddenly get the energy back, stand up and tell myself I imagined it. This went for a year and finally I got suicidal and then I thought perhaps I could give the professionals a chance first.

I was first put on antidepressants because I was just not in a state where therapy was possible, I went to a therapist and just cried for an hour. Once the antidepressants made it possible for me to stay in the "normal" phase, I went to therapy. Medication was slowly phased out and the therapy helped me immensely to stay in the "normal" range of moods, recover my ability to laugh and look at the three terrible things that happened as... events from the past. They no longer paralysed me.

I would suggest you get a second opinion on whether you suffer from depression or not, and in any case look for a good therapist to help you finish your grieving process. You definitely shouldn't be stuck in this place for years. From what I know (I'm not a pro!) grieving process after you lose your spouse generally lasts for a year -- you have to witness every season without her. And then it should lift up. Sure you will sometimes get sad and emotional, but you should not be stuck in it for years.

Big hugs and I hope things get better soon.

Thank you for your post. I'm glad you are doing much better. Hugs back.