Mood swings, can't eat, constant sadness and easily suicidal

NOTE: This is a bit of everything, but it most fit depression as it was a leading cause to most of this.
Basically the title explains most of what I'm going though right now. For the past 3 and a half weeks I've been unable to eat more than a cracker. Whenever I go to eat something I start to feel ill, even before I've put the food in my mouth. I've lost 6kgs within 2 weeks (which for me is a lot, as my metabolism isn't the best) down from 59kgs to 53kgs, I'm having horrible PMS and my period should have started 3 days ago. I think it may stem from my ongoing depression-and-BPD-like symptoms.

I started to feel an ongoing sadness back in 2014 when I first met my current boyfriend. Online. I became extremely jealous of anyone he liked, and I confused this jealousy for love. It took another year to actually fall in love with him (we fight often, which lead to us breaking up on various occasions)and we've only really started to settle down this year. Note that he lives in the country next door (I'm from NZ, he's from Aus) so at some point we plan on actually being together physically. Back to the depression, it got worse to the point of having suicidal feelings most nights. It went away for months until it came back last night where I tried to off myself, which was not helped by the fact that he wanted to play video games instead of messaging me to perhaps help me...? I cried for hours and I'm going back to my doctor who thinks I am fine. I think I'll see a counselor, and I hope to god that they help. Because I'm sick of getting so upset over everything all the time. It's not fair on him or I. A lot of my friends think that it's the relationship, but honestly if I didn't get all these feelings it would be fine.

Would anyone be able to suggest anything such as my diet or anything that could be interfering with my mood, and anything that could help? As far as medical information goes, my mother has hypothyroidism which has given her depression, my father doesn't have anything as far as I'm concerned, I've had constant, reoccurring UTIs since late 2014, but other than that I have no diagnosed mental disorders (hopefully my doctor will be able to tell me if I do or not soon) and no allergies.
Thank you for reading this.
- Ella

Hi!! I can relate to what you are going through. Have you always been this way or is it just with this particular boyfriend? Did something happen in a previous relationship that may be causing this? I was married for 14 years and my ex husband took advanatage of me (rape). I'm having an emotionally terrible time moving on with a man.

I know eating good and exercising helps my mood a lot. And sleep. I dont' generally sleep well but when I do I know it helps a lot!!!

Hope you are feeling better!

My hormones started being a bit of a pain the year I met him, and ever since I was 5 I've been down/irritable constantly. When it comes to other relationships, nothing bad has happened, but him and I got off to an extremely rocky start which could've triggered it.
That's terrible, I understand that ending and moving on from serious relationships as you get older become more and more difficult and painful. I'm grateful that I'm still young. I eat quite well already and I try to exercise daily. I'm feeling a bit better as I've come to accept that he's just colder when it comes to my feelings. Which could either work to help me get over negativity or become more negative depending on how I view it.

I'm no doctor but it sounds like clinical depression to me. When I was depressed I always thought it was about something and to an extent it was. Now that I am on anti-depressants I have not felt suicidal again, and handle the same problems fine that I couldn't cope with before. Maybe you could ask your doctor to screen you for depression.
Best of luck.

Bill4315 wrote:I'm no doctor but it sounds like clinical depression to me. When I was depressed I always thought it was about something and to an extent it was. Now that I am on anti-depressants I have not felt suicidal again, and handle the same problems fine that I couldn't cope with before. Maybe you could ask your doctor to screen you for depression.
Best of luck.

Next time I see my doctor I'm going to bring up the possibility of me having BPD and if I do have it, if I can get medication for it.