My suicidal fantasies are slowly turning to homicidal fantas

They include me going out in a columbine style attack. I have become obsessed with Eric Harris and Dylan Klebold because in my opinion they were victims of their minds like I feel I am. I just connect with them on such a strong level. I would never harm anyone at this point I think at the moment I am just suffering from grandiose homicidal fantasies. My mind obsesses over things meticulously. I'm a quiet person in real life with a busy life; work, gym and university. I'm 20 and have been dealing with depression since I was 10. I've always been obsessed with 'death' as it were, imagining I was dying from cancer at the age of 10 etc... my doctor thinks bipolar disorder could be a factor because of my extreme mood swings. I suffer badly from maladaptive daydreaming which easily takes up 2 hours of my day everyday. I was placed due to a rushed decision, on Prozac for a month. Now myself and a doctor have started anew.
I want to tell my doctor about this.. the homicidal fantasies and obsession with Eric Harris and Dylan Klebold and connecting with them on an emotional and psychological level. I don't want to be put away or anything. I have an amazing boyfriend and family.
I have a doctors appointment tomorrow to actually be signed off the sick. I live in the UK. Will he refer me to for a psych evaluation? (I've visited CAMHS before but left that evaluation when I was younger..) will he extend my sick leave? Any advice would really help....

Well, you don't want to be locked up or anything, but you certainly wouldn't want to be locked up for doing something heinous now, would you? Seek the treatment, sweets. If you need a psych eval don't worry about it.

I'm a lot like you, I was quiet when younger (eventually grew out of it to some extent) I used to maladaptively daydream like crazy (I would set time aside for the purpose), I'm OCD and depressed and think unwanted harm thoughts.

You mentioned being obsessive... I think it'd also be worth thinking about asking about if you exhibit some OCD. I've... never allowed myself to have homicidal fantasies, but I have harm OCD which causes me to have unwanted intrusive thoughts about killing people. Which causes me anxiety, hence the intrusive OCD self-diagnosis. Been thinking those thoughts for 40 years, I'm not writing this from Death Row, so... yeah, it's a mind game. My brain tries to scare itself with idiotic thoughts about killing loved ones. I've learned to ignore them.

Anyway yes I definitely think you should let the professionals in on this, there's no reason to torture yourself wondering if you're going to hurt someone. Get it seen to and they'll get to the bottom of it.

I agree with Snaga. This really sounds like a potential problem. Even though we all have our fantasies (whichever form they may take) it is better to ask for assistance in your case. Not because Im worried that you will harm someone, I am more worried about your aggression issues. It may become harmful for you.

Hey, how is it going? Are you feeling any better?