I was suffering from Depression and didn't even realise it.

First of all I'd like to say Hi to everybody since I'm new here. I'm glad I found this forum with people who have the same problem as me.


Anyways, I was recently diagnosed as having a severe form of depression. For the last 2 months I knew there was something with me but the thought of depression never even crossed my mind because I always thought that depression involved intense feelings of saddeness, low self image, suicidal thoughts, etc. And I never experienced any of these things, as a matter of fact I was not sad at all. So because I didn't experience any of these things I didn't realise I was depressed until about 2 weeks ago.


For me it all started about 2 months ago, it started out as a paranoid feeling that I would get about 2 or 3 times a week. It always seem to come at night, I would feel fine through out the day but at night I would get paranoid and be scared to fall asleep. This went on for about 4 weeks before the paranoia finaly went away. But as soon as the paranoia stopped something worse started happening, I started getting this shakey, irritable feeling that would last anywhere from a few minutes to a few hours. Just like the paranoid feeling it would happen about 2 or 3 times a week but then after a few weeks the shakey/irritable feeling started hitting me 2 or 3 times a day.


Then all of the sudden my sex drive just disappeared, my appetite diminished significantly, I started losing the will power to do even the simplest things and even things that I used to enjoy doing I just suddenly seem to lose interest in them. I started missing work simply because I no longer had the motivation to go to work everyday. It's like I didn't want to do anything but lay on the couch and watch TV. Then I started losing sleep, I got to where I was only sleeping 2 or 3 hours a night. But the worst thing I experienced was psychosis(hallucinations, hearing voices, delusions.) I never heard voices or had any hallucinations but I did start having delusions, I had these weird, unrealistic thoughts that seem to just pop into my mind out of nowhere, and I couldn't get them out of my head no matter how hard I tried.


This really scared the Hell out of me! I thought for sure I was turning Schizophrenic or something so I decided it was time to get some help. I went and checked myself into a psychiatric hospital a few days after the delusions started. I was evaluated by a psychiatrist and to my supprise he told me that what I've had been experiencing for the last 2 months is Depression. He explained that it was possible to suffer from depression without feeling sad which I was not aware of. He also explained that it was fairly common for people with severe depression to experience psychosis which I was also not aware of. Anyways, I spent 3 days in the psychiatric hospital and I am now taking an anti-depressant called Paxil and a anti-psychotic drug called Geodon. I am also now going to therapy once a week, and I feel great now.


I would like to know if anybody here has ever suffered from depression without realising it was depression you were suffering from?


And I would also like to know if anyone here has ever experienced any form of psychosis caused by depression?

For the longest time when I was younger I didn't know what I was feeling was depression. I bounced back and forth for the longest time from moderate to severe.

I had to go through alot... and that caused the depression. I suffer from clinical depression (that really doesn't go away) and S.A.D in the winter months.

it's good that you finally know what the problem is so you can get the proper treatment for it.

Good luck to you.