help?:[ *TW*

Ik I have posted before but I need help. I don't know what to do anymore. I'm a teenager.. I'm very confused about life. Why am I here?. This posts seems like a teenager that thinks she depressed / runs everywhere , gets in to trouble but I am not that person. I stay inside all day everyday, I go on a virtual world called smallworlds , I have been going on it for 4 years and I'm very attached to it. I want to quit it, its boring and I don't want to be on it but I can't because of lack of a life. I'm ugly :/ I got a lot of acne .. I go to school and people want to be mean and make fun of me and I don't get it , I'm nice to everyone no lie, If their not being mean their ignoring me . I go home everyday knowing nobody cares about me and I'm worthless and its having a big affect on how nice I am. I stopped having a lot of nice moments a while ago when I realized no matter how nice I am , no one is ever going to care. Why am I here today, WHY WOULD GOD PUT ME THREW THIS. I want to die but Ican't kill myself, if I have a knife to my stomach I CANT do it for I am not brave enough. Iget bad grades, and masturbation came to my attention at age 11 which is making me miserable Every perfect person walking around , I feel hate to them.Pretty people with nice straight hair and perfect lives and lots of friends I wonder Y can't that be me , why am I the ugly alone weird person obsessing over the fact that I have nothing . Nothing's not physical , I have food and all the stuff I need to survive but nothing that's ever going to make me happy , I don't even remember the last time I was happy. What am I suppose to do ? Live life like this until I die and most likely go to hell because of it and have to suffer even more?

I feel alone. No person will ever understand me , I am not normal and I have a twisted mind , I just need people to comment back because it makes me feel better , I feel like an idiot for stooping this low but I have nobody to go to . I like the name Lucifer for some reason and I like the devil but not in real life, I watch Supernatural a famous show some of u may have heard of or watch , it has to do with most of my bad side bcuz it incourages me to feel strong although I am a weak human.

I'd highly suggest putting a trigger warning on posts like these in the future.

you're still very young; we've all been there. the teenage years are terrible for most, hormones are all over and it's no help when depression surfaces. there's no such thing as a perfect person/life, everyone has flaws and there's more people that deal w/ these things than you'll ever know.

May I ask why is the masturbation making you miserable? i'm not seeing the connection.

It's not always the case of necessities being the source of happiness. think about it, there's celebrities out there that have mental disorders. it's not about what you don't have, it's about what you do have and making the most of it. as I said, you're still very young, just entering your teens, I've been dealing with depression since I was 12-13 yrs old and I'm almost meeting the demise of my teenage years, they go by faster than you think.

I won't tell you the cliche "it gets better, you just have to hang on a little longer" - but more that if you want things to improve, you need to find the motivation. discover your worth and purpose. you need to allow yourself to make things better; ending things completely declines any room for improvement and that's not what you want whether you believe it or not.

you're not a weak human, just posting on here for support provides evidence that you are very strong and capable. < also that you want to improve, otherwise you wouldn't be reaching out. don't give up just yet. there's so much more to life that you're yet to discover.

have you told anyone IRL about these difficulties you're facing? it's absolutely vital that you reach out to someone, untreated psychological problems tend to worsen without the support that's needed, though it's known that depression can improve overtime w/ appropriate treatment.

you're special to many people and I care. we care.

(appearance isn't all that important, it's all about personality and what you have to offer as a person. just because you don't find yourself attractive personally, doesn't mean nobody else will/does! I don't think I'm ugly, but not pretty, and you know what? many people disagree and find me beautiful. I'm sure there's many many people that could say the same about you!)

Masturbation is not for 14 yr olds i feel sick but its an aaddiction and its making me feel like a nasty person . Also , Ik I'm young but its been the same for the last couple of years I see no future although I'm trying the best I can right now. I find myself very unattractive and I feel weird when there's a person that likes me because I just look disgusting and y would anyone like me. It seems like people judge by apperance and the way I sound because I have been very nice to everyone and they want to be mean and ignore me except for 1 or 2 people that may like me , none that I know of .I dont tell my feelings to anyone in rl they don't want to here my problems. I'll make the most out of what I got but its not making me happy , food and objects r not what I'm looking 4 but the things I have can not change so I'm dealing with them as best as possible on a very depressing level. Also , I embarrass myself at least twice a day , I had moments where I did really awful things that I can't tell anyone about and its clear in my mind and won't go away .

thedarknessishere wrote:Masturbation is not for 14 yr olds i feel sick but its an aaddiction and its making me feel like a nasty person . Also , Ik I'm young but its been the same for the last couple of years I see no future although I'm trying the best I can right now. I find myself very unattractive and I feel weird when there's a person that likes me because I just look disgusting and y would anyone like me. It seems like people judge by apperance and the way I sound because I have been very nice to everyone and they want to be mean and ignore me except for 1 or 2 people that may like me , none that I know of .

Probably not the best place to share this, but I was the same at your age. it just comes naturally, it's not "sick" and doesn't make you a "nasty" person - it has been proven to be very good for you, actually! works very well as a stress relief and is a fantastic way to boost negative moods. It seems as though you have confidence insecurities, there's many ways you can boost your self esteem. you might want to consider that? putting yourself down doesn't make it any easier, I learnt that the hard way!

Going to try to forget about this ty for your responses , I'm going to go to sleep now ~ merry Christmas .

You're very welcome! I hope I could provide some better insight for you, at least? Merry christmas to you too, have a lovely one!

Big hugs.

It gets better, it really does. I was the person you described at the age of 14, except my masturbation didn't make me feel guilty -- I knew everybody is doing it. (Which is true. Everybody is doing it at this age. It's completely natural, it's not an addiction, it's your hormones going all wild. There's no need to worry about it unless you either get all bloody from it or it makes it completely impossible for you to do other things.)

So. Yes. It gets better. It took me another few years to find some friends that understood me. Then another few years to build a large social circle. And then at some point I had to invite people for my birthday and I panicked because the list of people that ABSOLUTELY had to come was so long my house wouldn't fit them all.

You will get there. I promise. Teenage years are the worst period of my life, but they ended. And I am very happy that I am still around to enjoy my life as it is today.

Oliveira wrote:And I am very happy that I am still around to enjoy my life as it is today.

I'm so glad to hear that! I hope you're well.