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Feeling like you lack character

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Feeling like you lack character

Postby fallenstar27 » Mon Oct 05, 2015 1:18 am

I've dealt with this all my life, but it's getting much more pronounced as I get older. I'll be 27 soon. I feel like I have no interests. Zero. I dread when someone asks me what my hobbies are or what I'm interested in. I literally have to make things up and I hate having to lie or be artificial. Then I try to look inside myself and I can't find anything that interests me other than what I'm going to school for, psychology and substance abuse. Outside of that? Nothing. I feel so vapid. I always meet people who have varieties of interests and I feel so boring in comparison. I have no idea if this is just how I am? Do I just completely lack character? I begin to think that I must have a really low IQ, or that something is wrong with me, because there is very little that stimulates or interests my mind. When I watch tv, I flip through the entire guide and the only things that catch my interest are things that require very little thought, like Family Guy or some type of sitcom. I can't tell if it's depression anymore, or if I just suck as a human being, to be blunt. Anyone relate? :(
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Dx: mood disorder NOS (mainly depression, but have had SSRI-induced manic episodes), borderline traits, generalized anxiety disorder, body dysmorphic disorder
Current Rx: Wellbutrin 450 mg , Lamictal 200 mg, Paxil 30 mg

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Re: Feeling like you lack character

Postby Auxiliary11 » Thu Oct 08, 2015 10:36 pm

You too? I've always felt like this, just totally unsophisticated, stuck in the mind of a child or something. I've always sort of blamed my issues (severe inhibition etc.) on why I'm like this.

I have been trying to improve though... I would say just start with one particular subject and then get involved with it a lot.

My main 'hobby' as of now is tech, although that isn't exactly an exiting hobby, it's the only thing I have any real interest in. I usually have a near-total lack of interest in average hobbies and activities, it wasn't that way when I was a kid, but as of the last several years this has been the case. I play some golf, it's decent in the moment, but then I lose interest in it because it didn't bring me much enjoyment, then I give up on it. Exercise? Can't get into a routine with it. Crafting things? I used to enjoy product design a few years ago in school, but now I just can't make myself get into it at home because of my severe amotivation. Further Education? I've finished that, and for the most part, it didn't help me much... It's one thing to think you lack character but it's another to have no interest in anything besides prolonged internet use, gaming, and other time-wasting activities. Feels like I have to force myself to do everything.

I don't know you but an IQ deficit isn't likely the case here... maybe ADD-PI? I've long suspected I've got this but never had a formal diagnosis, and I know what you mean about having little stimulate or interest you though...

Look at it this way though; are any of the hobbies others have even that exiting? Most other people I know just have mundane interests in sport or amatuer photography or the like, when have you encountered someone with a unique, exciting, and interesting hobby? So really, whilst it's possible you or I lack character, I suspect others just take up random hobbies to make themselves appear more interesting than they actually are. Maybe it's just me but I don't see what's all that engaging about your average day-to-day hobbies, they bore the hell out of me most of the time.

Another aspect of character is personality, of which isn't exactly my strong suit, I guess that's something else I could work on.

Yes, I totally relate.
self dx. pdd-nos (level 1); covert narcissism w/ avoidant traits; social phobia; inertia.

INFP; dismissive/fearful-avoidant & highly sensitive person

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"you built up a world of magic, because your real life is tragic"
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