i have lived such a messy life

nothing much to say...sexual abuse, emotional abuse. i feel miserable all the time. have been treated like some bitch, actually enjoyed being one. watched bitch porn

i also have bpd. identity issues. have tried to have sex with teenager once got shouted at. some pathetic life i have lived

seriously i'd never want to relive my life, only good thing is i dont have to

i dont even care for anything. i just hate everything n everyone. screw this life. m scared all the time. had horrible friends who made fun of me...a lot. i shouldve stayed away from them. worst friends ever.

what ever happened to karma? come on, why cant karma give it back to the bullies. i pray bad for them all the time. like real bad luck on them. but even that wont help me as i have lost all hope. there is nothing left to redeem.
boink