What's the point anymore?

I feel like there is very little worth doing. I have to drag my feet just to make myself a meal or brush my teeth.
Good friends are hard to come by, and even my best friend has little interest in doing friend-y things with me. Its not like I don't try, it's not like I'm a bad friend. It's not like I don't try to make new friends but it's exhausting when you gain nothing from your efforts. It's not exactly a new thing either, I've been this way my entire life.
I can't pretend everyone else is the problem because it doesn't work that way. So obviously there must be something wrong with me that makes me "undesirable."
Everyone says adversity and trials make you stronger but I only feel more exhausted with every passing day.
I heard about this girl I used to go to school with who died from a drug overdose. As soon as I heard the news I envied her.

I really wish i had something helpful to say but it would be pretty hypocritical since i can't even get a handle on my own issues. I think your pretty amazing trying to make friends even though you haven't exactly gotten the results you hoped for. I hope you feel better soon.

I feel like there is very little worth doing. I have to drag my feet just to make myself a meal or brush my teeth.

even i force myself to eat food even if i dont want to. but i make sure i eat something. at times i just eat fruits but yeah its more of a chore/obligation than something one looks forward to.

I can't pretend everyone else is the problem because it doesn't work that way. So obviously there must be something wrong with me that makes me "undesirable."

not true. i used to think like this n feel guilty for being awkward, different, left out. now i realized that we are just different. its like if ten people say the earth is flat, it doenst mean the earth is flat. i dont get along well with any of my colleagues. i dont think i'm undesirable, i'm just not at the right place, maybe.

Everyone says adversity and trials make you stronger

i used to believe this n feel good for the challenges i've been through. while problems do make you stronger, it also exhausts you. some challenges like
a disease
having a specially abled child
getting entangled in a law suit that goes on and on and on
getting attacked with the mafia
poverty

these adversities are not something anyone would ever want to go through.

I heard about this girl I used to go to school with who died from a drug overdose. As soon as I heard the news I envied her.

there were times when i prayed for death, or hoped i had some ailment that would end the life for me.

its helpful to release your emotions. that helps. but yeah, my depression n loneliness make me go crazy at times.