FIRST POST HERE & Many Questions!

I've been dealing with depressive symptoms for over 7 years now. It has continued to get worse and worse with each passing year. Ive been seeing psychiatrists and a few psychologists with no relief. The depression I experience rules every aspect of my life, and has surely affected the progression in my academic and social life. I use to be involved in many sports during high school and have surely experimented with certain substances over the years. I've lost almost all the friends I made during those years of sports, goofing off in class, getting with the ladies, and partying. My world has gotten much smaller and my depression is to the point where at times I feel like walking into the E.R. because I just can't take it anymore.. I have an extremely low mood most all the time, to the point where i can't even fake a smile, nor attempt to participate in small talk with a barista/neighbor/really anyone including close and extended family. I have a severe lack of motivation these days and literally ZERO ENERGY.. as if the life force has been sucked from my body, and for me this is one of the worst symptoms. People tell me I look exhausted a lot. I recently took an acting class which I loved, yet I had little emotional depth to my voice, and often feel as though I'm speaking in a slowed monotone. The other day I felt almost catatonic. Morning's are hell, and I often sleep for 10 to 14 hours daily. I cant get anything accomplished and the medications I've tried all have horrible side effects including the most recent Wellbutrin which i was really hoping would give me some relief.. but NO, I got insomnia and furious itching fits/hives instead on both generic and name brand Wellbutrin. If scientists and doctors can't figure out the actual cause of depression how are we suppose to cure it!? I feel as though these medications aren't going to help me and are simply "band aids which will eventually fall off leaving an unhealed wound behind." Has anyone actually had any success or "remission" with any antidepressants? Thanks

Hi,

I can obviously only speak for myself but when originally diagnosed with MDD in 2004 I took moclobemide (MAOI) for 1 1/2 years, then tapered off (under supervision obviously) and had five years of complete and total remission. Which was greatly helped by therapy with a really amazing psychologist.

The problem with depression is that we don't actually know why antidepressants work the way they do. For instance, the desired plasma concentration is reached within hours from first dose, so why do they take 4-12(!) weeks to actually work? We also don't know which one is the right choice. My first was Lexapro (escitalopram) which gave me nothing but side effects, including really weird ones (very precise idea of self-harm that wouldn't go away). Then moclobemide just... worked. Bang! Jackpot! But unfortunately it isn't always that easy to hit that sweet spot. Don't give up. While medication-resistant depression does exist, it's rare. You have a very big chance of finding the right med or combination. And hopefully that will happen soon.

You mention "certain substances". Obviously I don't know what and how much you used. But there are drugs that cause inability to experience pleasure once you quit taking them. This can last for a year or longer. Antidepressants don't work in this case. Alcohol is also a depressant (I didn't believe that for a long time when I was "self-medicating"...) -- it makes you feel better short-term but worse the day after. So while I don't know if you quit using alcohol/drugs, I strongly suggest you do.

Big hugs if wanted. Don't give up. Relief is out there. You will find it eventually.

It took a long time after becoming clean and sober for medications to help very much. After bout 2.5 years I hit on a combination that worked great. I haven't been depressed since then. I continue to have low energy but the emotional problems are gone.
Have you considered ECT yet? They are about twice as effective as CBT or medications. I would keep complaining to the doctor if no help comes from a given medication. The right one(s) can be a Godsend.