Do you ever feel you've been fighting for too long?

by **MangoExtract** » Fri Jul 24, 2015 2:44 pm

Why do you care about "normal"?
Yes most people don't get that the human race is basically filled with pricks, idiots (insert other insults). Notice though that second word- with the advent of the internet our ability to find people who are average, who get it has increased.
You said that you've tried therapy and medications and they haven't worked- I wonder if perhaps you might have a different disorder besides depression and the reason therapy/medications haven't worked is because your doctors were not addressing part of the problem.
I understand how you feel. I don't hang out with people, I think/feel that people are stupid, stubborn pricks for the most part. Though I have come to realize that some people are very good people, nice, friendly, and intelligent on some subjects, yet I still can barely stand hanging out.
Chondro mention ECT- I have treatment resistant depression and tried ECT, it helped me. The treatment isn't necessarily to treat who you are/your personality but to make it so you get content with those things.

HalfwayThere wrote:
I used to read ferociously on all manner of subjects in search of that truth. Religious books, philosophy, science, economics, history, politics, mathematics, biographies of interesting people, novels and drama, in addition to conversing with people of like and different minds. I was particularly fascinated with different viewpoints on the same subject matter.

The search for truth from which to derive a sense of place is in itself an expression of hope. My hope is that by allowing the possibility of gaining perspective, discovery of ideas and ways of seeing, that the burden you feel will get lighter and lighter with time.

Sorry to crash into this thread, but interested if you could give some pointers what exactly (books) you've read?

by **HalfwayThere** » Mon Aug 24, 2015 12:45 pm

Hi.

I think you probably already know the answer - books with titles that implied answers to questions I had at different points in my life. My test of a good book was to open a random page and see if it was a good read. Then open another. If the book wasn't any good and didn't flow or have interesting content, it would go back on the shelf.

It's a pretty open ended question, so the answer is pretty much a blank cheque. Chances are that someone at some time has reflected on and written about whatever it is that you have questions about. It wouldn't be appropriate for me to impose answers to questions I had as somehow constituting a truth.

by **pisceandream** » Tue Aug 25, 2015 8:42 am

blackheart wrote:Thanks for responding and I apologise for the late response, I have been a little preoccupied with family shattering issues as of late. I hope you are all OK though .

I truly do believe that some people are beyond help and that I am one of those people. ECT cannot change the hundreds of people who die of starvation each day as a result of capitalist societies. ECT cannot change the materialism and arrogance that society is built upon. These concepts are the very fabric of my reality, and everywhere I look this is all I see. The worst part of all of this is I know it in my heart that this isn't a delusion and that I aren't overreacting. It's the truth. (I'm not categorising every human under the same label. People like us do indeed exist, but it's safe to say that we are the strong minority). What I'm trying to say is that deep down I know it's going to be extremely difficult for me to live in such surroundings. I often think that I've gone too deep, and come to realisations that a part of me wishes I hadn't. It's what I have started to call 'the dirty truth'. How can I possibly live without money? Or a job? I don't want either in my life. I truly believe there is nothing wrong with me, the problem is quite blatantly there for everyone to see. This is no way to live a life, taking into account how strange and unique our existence really is. If you think about life on a deeper level, you truly realise how pathetic this version of reality is.

I believe we are moving into a new phase of human evolution and some of us are ready to move in a new direction, when our lives no longer have any meaning or satisfaction anymore that indicates we may be ready for this new direction. Maybe this will interest you?

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