5 results of being born in a crappy family

Let me do a little comparison for you to understand my point. I will compare myself with the girl work in the next cubicle at my job. based on my analysis of her attitude and behavior and i know she has a better family than i do.
1. overweight vs fit
the easiest thing to see in people is appearance. I am overweight and she is fit. The difference is due to eating disorder. I now try my best to eat healthy now because my weight is killing me. My mother always try to interfere with my diet. she doesnt let me eat vegetables or fruit. She want me fat so she can keep calling me "fat bitch" and insult me. she evens encourage my brother to insult me. if i do not do what she said, she will hit me and sexually abuse me as a punishment. as a result, i keep being depressed and stressed and then i eat more and then being depressed and it goes on and on and that doesn't help with weight loss.
2. smile vs depressed
she can always smile the happy smile. she always look happy. for me my smile has disappeared long time ago. what i've been through makes me can't smile anymore. i always look depressed and angry. i hate my life
3. good communication vs interrupted communication
my boss comments that she has good communication. i know it too. she can calm people and she doesnt seem to get angry at all when she has problem. for me, my talk dont calm people. i get angry quickly. my communication is unclear and interrupted. no much better at home where i barely talk, when i open my mouth its always argument.
4. strong relationship vs relationship difficulty
she is always warm to other people. i am cold and distant. she has good family, a loving boyfriend, good network of friend. for me, i just pretend to talk to my family nicely. if i ever said i love my family you should know that it's the biggest lie you ever heard. i just have very few friend. my best friend sometimes ignore me. i never have a boyfriend or want one because i have trust issues, i also hate being touched and emotionally open with anyone.
5.helpful attitude vs indifferent
i mean helping people is a good thing but to me it doesnt make me feel better. i dont run out of my way to help people. i just feel numb most of the time and doesnt give a $#%^ what happens around me. on the other side, she is the girl who is always eager to help others out.
i am in a deadend. i cant live anywhere else. i am stuck

I cut all ties and ran away to start anew. Now i have a job , a little room , and a computer, things I couldnt never have dreamed of owning as a small child living in the sticks with a violent , drunken , abusive father and schizo mother. You should try it. Most of those "creeps" are really just mentally ill and they can be quite can kind.

but you are an introspective, thoughtful person. no one can take that away from you. I 2nd what the other poster said about cutting family ties, at least temporarily. you are not "less than" and deserve the time to take care of yourself.