Friendships

Struggling every day, I don't know what to do. They say being sociable is good for you but every time I go out I feel more lonely than I do inside by myself. I went out with my friends this afternoon and find myself laughing, chatting, doing normal things, but inside I'm dying. It makes me feel even worse. I got home and put my head in my hands before crawling into bed. I'm supposed to be getting ready to meet them again now and I can't bear to get ready, probably going to cancel the night. I feel like an alien around them. I feel like an alien around practically everyone except my parents although I don't tell them how I feel or get much direct comfort from them (they would give it, I just don't say much about it).

If I tell them I feel depressed they don't really understand. They say they're having a bad time at work or something like that, so they "understand"... but they don't. I feel bad every single day whether or not anything bad is happening in my life. I feel like there is not a single soul on the planet who will understand me, and nobody on the same level as me that I will be able to love and look after again.

I don't know if this is my friendship group or me causing this.. Just feel so isolated. It's exhausting and makes me feel so sad, all I can do really is stay in bed and write on this forum, read some books and listen to music.

Rachaey, I'm sorry you're having a bad time right now. Feeling alienated from others is typical with depression. I've been going through the same thing. Getting together with friends just makes me realize how disconnected I feel from them. My lifelines have been a bipolar support group, therapy, and medication. And writing in my journal.

I encourage you to see friends periodically. Even if you don't feel like seeing them, do it just to avoid isolating yourself. It might feel good to have that accomplishment under your belt.

Do you think an adjustment in medication is in order?

you dont have to hang out with them all the time to be friends.
imo friendship is about being there when needed n not talking everyday.

you could tell them that i really like you'll but can't hang out. i feel disconnected.
if they're friends, they'll understand

i prefer talking to one friend, hanging out with one person rather than going out in a group.

I'm similar to tiredofmyself -- my threshold seems to be one person. If I hang with a group of three or more, I become exhausted. So I just stopped doing it. I have lots of friends, and they like seeing me, but they had to adapt to my "rules". I'm just not up for more. And my wellbeing is my number one priority.

Everything each of you said is so true and it helps to know people understand and go through the same things! I even convince myself I'm a bad friend or a bad person because I hate hanging out with my friends.. I know this isn't true on reflection though. I find it particularly troublesome with my guy friends because they don't understand me as well as my best girlfriends and they're much more satisfied with talking about themselves the whole time. Which would be annoying even to someone in a happy, balanced mindset. I guess you know your true friends love you when they love you equally at your worst and best. My best friend texted me saying she'd drop anything if I needed help and I believe that she would. It's a nice feeling to know love isn't dependent on having to hang out and talk every day <3 might look at adjusting medication..