I just can't do this anymore

I'm tired. Physically, mentally, emotionally tired. I think I've just given up. I feel empty, hopeless, and very, very alone. I feel like i'm in this bottomless hole that I can't climb out of and trying to is both exhausting and pointless. They say I have PTSD and that depression is the result of PTSD. The only thing i'm really sure of, is that I've felt this way most of my life. I would say it's gotten worse within the last two years. I've always been the person who suppresses emotions and thoughts because I've never wanted to be the center of attention. I've never wanted people to feel sorry for me or to be a bother to them even though I've always felt that I am. It's extremely hard for me to trust people, so bottling everything up has always just seemed like the way to go. I've tried letting my guard down and opening up to my closest friend, but that's just made me feel even more alone. They just don't get it. My thoughts, feelings, and experiences are simplified almost like they aren't even a big deal. Like I just need to get over it and snap out of this depression. But that's just it, I can't. I'm stuck.

I'm really sorry that you're in such a bad place, as am I myself and so I can't give you the magic answer as to how to make it better.

When you're depressed there's no "snapping out of it", because if it were that easy very few to no people would be depressed. It's a serious illness and it makes people feel just like you said - stuck. Very few people understand unless they have experienced it.

Can I asked if you have sought help and if so what kind? I'm just assuming you have to some degree as you were diagnosed with depression and PTSD?

ConfusedKitty wrote:I'm really sorry that you're in such a bad place, as am I myself and so I can't give you the magic answer as to how to make it better.

When you're depressed there's no "snapping out of it", because if it were that easy very few to no people would be depressed. It's a serious illness and it makes people feel just like you said - stuck. Very few people understand unless they have experienced it.

Can I asked if you have sought help and if so what kind? I'm just assuming you have to some degree as you were diagnosed with depression and PTSD?

I understand, I mean I don't really think there is a magic solution. If there were, I think we all would have used it to "snap" us out of this depression. I don't think anyone wants to be depressed we just kind of are. That's what people fail to understand. Thank you though, I'm glad there's someone out there who can relate because it can get really lonely, really fast.

I actually started seeing a therapist for the first time about a year ago. It was really kind of a last resort, an act if desperation actually. I had never really thought about it before. I feel like I've been this way for as long as I can remember to the point that it's become my norm and i've somehow just learned to deal with it on my own. The reason I sought help was because I developed really bad insomnia and physically getting up in the mornings started becoming unbearably difficult. I also started considering suicide seriously. I recently started seeing a therapist again. Once a month for the past 4 months. I've tried a couple of different medications. My sessions are usually one on one however, it's been recommended that I start CBT. If/when I do, my visits would increase to once a week for an indefinite period of time.

I can relate to it seeming normal after a while to feel this way. I don't know if this is out of place but once a month seems really sparse, is there know way your therapy appointment frequency could be increased - possibly to once a week. I was also told that CBT isn't the most effective therapy when someone is in crisis (i.e. feeling suicidal). I don't know if that's actually the case, that's just what I was told by my CBT therapist who suggested that psychotherapy in combination with medication might be better for me personally. It's really good you've gotten help because very few people can just cope with it by themselves without some sort of intervention.

ConfusedKitty wrote:I can relate to it seeming normal after a while to feel this way. I don't know if this is out of place but once a month seems really sparse, is there know way your therapy appointment frequency could be increased - possibly to once a week. I was also told that CBT isn't the most effective therapy when someone is in crisis (i.e. feeling suicidal). I don't know if that's actually the case, that's just what I was told by my CBT therapist who suggested that psychotherapy in combination with medication might be better for me personally. It's really good you've gotten help because very few people can just cope with it by themselves without some sort of intervention.

I think psychotherapy is what I have now? One on one session with a therapist in combination with medication. It's really the only form of therapy that I've had so I really don't have anything else to compare it to. I was referred to a CBT specialist for an evaluation to see whether or not they thought that form of therapy might be the most helpful for me. In the end CBT was recommended for me. I guess it's worth giving it a shot. The place that I go to is very impacted so it's somewhat difficult to get anything more than a once a month appointment. However, I've been told that at the start of CBT my visits will increase to once a week indefinitely.