I'm done

I just wrote a long post and it is gone.


I'm done.

Bye

I can't do it anymore.

Everything is in loops and I get blamed for everything. My parents are selfish bastards, they see me cry and still work for their benefit like lie and make excuses why they can't talk about it today all they want is to get high ###$ bitches or masturbate to crime scenes on tv

My friends say I have filthy rich parents and envy it, while my parents boost infront of me with wealth while I have absolutely zero in life. I was homeless this year and my dad was doing boat contests and dined with some important people

Some of my friends used me in a drug scam and I heard others, STRANGERS say ''you ruined her life to gain wealth and drugs'' and those friends just went ''so? her problem''. They pretended to help me like 'here, take this, yeaaa course i do it every day, no problem' until I got addicted and liable to manipulation for their gain

Some other friends said that me being homeless ''isn't similar to their interests so they don't want to be my friends anymore'' cause I can't talk about bunnies and cakes and plan expensive vacation

Others come around and ask ''so your life didn't work out haha you're a loser'' Like watching soap operas, they don't care what happens to me or how I feel as long as I am amusing. They wish my life would suck even more so they had more to watch

People even come to my place, make me cook for them and then call me their dog or repeat 'bitch' 'shut up bitch' after everything i say. I got blamed for hanging with those people who made me do drugs and nobody cares that I'm actually the victim here. I am dealing with tough withdrawals and a very f up life situation and all I get is blame and laughter. I went to a shrink but he yelled at me and I got scared

Nobody is there to help me, they just want to avoid that could spoil their day even if it would save my life, my parents included, and everybody just wants to hear that next bit of information they can laugh at or feel better about

I'm really sorry that you're having such a rough time right now..
It can get better - not right now but it can get better.

I've lived in that world that you lived in.. i wouldn't ever want to go back to it.
I would honestly prefer to be homeless than go back to live amongst the rich and powerful people that drop you the moment you go out of fashion (or lose your money).
An excess of money seems to do something to people.. or uncaring people are the ones most likely to end up rich..

I know that withdrawal is a horrible horrible thing to go through when you're on your own.. it's really really important to have supporters around you that you can call up or take a walk with when you're having a rough day.
It sounds like it would be helpful to do a little spring cleaning of your friendship group.. if they're hurting you then they're not really your friends.

Do you go to meetings at all (12 step programme things).? They can be a huge huge help to many people and you can also be supportive to others when you're strong enough.

There are genuine people out there.. that I promise you. Maybe you'll find some of them at a meeting.


xx

plants can be great friends. i dont have any real life friends.

the ones i had would treat me like their dog n loudly call me bad nick names. if i objected they'd say, 'cant you handle a little humor?'
well no i cant handle humor.

surround yourself with people who bring out the best on you.
maybe you could move out of the place, into a safe city. move in with some concerned relative or move in some boarding house. i understand its easier said than done.

take care...