No interest in school/working

I am just wondering if anyone here can relate to how i'm feeling.

I genuinely have no interest in going to school (university, for example- which I just dropped out of, first semester after 3 months... because I just did not care).

I absolutely hate working. (I currently work in an extremely busy restaurant, part time, washing dishes). I am going to have to work full time in order to save money for the future.

I genuinely feel happiest when I am laying in bed using my computer. I find most other things extremely stressful. I enjoy socializing occasionally, but only once in a while. I also enjoy playing the piano, and writing, but otherwise, anything that involves any amount of "work", I absolutely hate, and have no interest in.

I even remember in Grade 2 school for example, i would just sit there are ball my eyes out because II hated it so much. I never, ever did my homework, no matter how hard my parents tried to force me to do so.

The thing is- I have written some excellent essays, I have received great test scores and final grades on occasion when I forced myself to get work done. When I receive a good grade, I feel mildly satisfied, but that's it. I don't really care very much.

I am glad that I dropped out of High School (which i finished years later, at a college). It is such a waste of life, as is working.

This is all related to my depression, which I have had my whole life. I simply do not understand how people force themselves to be slaves to society. I mean, i get it, money is important (i know all to well as I am extremely poor and on my own with no assistance from anyone, which is why I went to university initially to work towards a career)

But in the end, I DONT CARE. I do not want to slave away. In my short 3 month stay at university, I did try for a while. I would study/do homework for like 8 hours a day. It was pure hell. I don't understand how ANYONE could do that to themselves.

Also, I worked for 8 months, 40 hours a week. That was pure hell as well. and now I am going to have to work full time again. The thought, is just... unbearable.

How is it that most people are just...okay with this? I don't understand it. How is this even remotely okay for people?

I can totally understand part time work/ part time school. But full time... how?

I can really relate to this. I'm 17 year old male myself. I see people's reasoning behind hard work but sadly fail to envisage the same end goal. I would much rather work for something with more purpose and value but am in no position to do so. I've challenged myself on countless occasions whether I even need high school. But being my last year and having a descent opportunity to study something I think I would enjoy, I feel obligated to finish. However, it is so hard trying to work with no motivation and like you end up in front of the computer. I blame it down partially to the lifestyle I've been brought up in and depression/anxiety. I am struggling so much though and currently feel like i'm breaking down. I'm finding it so hard to work when I know desperately I need to.

I HATED school and at 21 still cannot fathom voluntarily going into any educational setting again.

I dropped out of high school for two years and hauled ass my senior year to make up the credits. I graduated on time by a hair.

As for work, I have not had a job, and have always had trouble envisioning myself in the work force, even as a kid. The closest I got was asking for an application from the manager of a fast food place. My head was so foggy at the time that I assumed every job in there would have some fancy/ overly prestigious title (as do many jobs now), and I asked the manager what the position for making food was called, and she said "you mean cook?" .

Increasingly, I find typical things are not important to me. At all. I don't desire a career, to be a home owner, a relationship, etc...and it's not really depression, either. I'm just a weirdo.

I just need a means to fulfill basic needs. I would like to forgo money itself if I knew how.


As for how these people can be ok with it, it's likely that they just don't have the same afflictions. Higher thresholds, temperamental differences, etc. Most people will also not have had the kind of experiences needed to really force a person to evaluate themselves or their situation and possibly go against the norm. You have to be bumped or knocked hard to set that kind of life evaluation in motion.

i think most people do it cause they enjoy the benefits. for some people its easy to make friends. they enjoy different foods. its easy for them to be happy. they earn money n then spend it on food n movies.

i dont have the energy to go to fancy restaurant n buy food. its so exhausting.