Problems interacting with people

Hi! I've been dealing with problems across the spectrum of mental illness since I was 21 or so. I consider myself book smart but not necessarily street smart. Lately I've been having problems doing something as simple as talking to a clerk at the checkout isle about the weather. What I want to say in my mind doesn't correlate to what I actually speak. It seems I can be rather incoherent in both public and at home. My family is supportive but I still feel like a fool when I cannot even talk about the weather in a concise manner. I know a lot of people with depression and related illnesses struggle with this just as I do. I dont know what can be done to remedy this embarrassing situation. I guess I just wanted to write this post as a way to lead me to a better understanding of myself. Thank for reading.

Hi, after a period of being really stressed, i dealt with this issue as well...what i did to remedy the situation was to take my time before saying something, even if that meant talking less then usual...maybe, pause for a while before saying what you want to say, and if your family is supportive, they will understand. You will get through this, mine didn't last forever

Hey.

Thanks for posting, it's good to reach out.

Part of your problem, you'll be glad to know, is a problem everyone suffers from to some degree: wanting approval.

Sound absurd, but it's true. Everyone wants to be liked, nobody wants to be ridiculed or shunned, so people do and say things for approval all the time. People want to be accepted. That's why you get perfectly ordinary, rational, good people doing things like drugs.

The trick to improving your interactions, though, is to think less about what you think people want you to say, and more about what you really want to say. Speak to inform, tell people what they need to know, and don't embellish it with things you think might please people.

Example of speaking for approval:

“We worship an awesome God in the blue states and we don’t like federal agents poking around in our libraries in the Red States.” - Barak Obama, 2007.

Politicians speak for approval all the time, but if you look for actual information in what they say, you find very little. But these 'nice' speeches and quotes have only one purpose: To get you to vote for that person.

Example of speaking to inform:

"There's a fire on the fourth floor, make your way to the fire exit at once." - Someone at some point.

Notice how the person is only providing the information necessary here. There's a fire on the fourth floor, and head to the fire exit. There's nothing in that statement that's designed to make a person like you, or warm to you, or vote for you.

Of course, it's okay to be nice to people, to compliment them on things you genuinely wish to compliment them about, but never do it just to make a person like you.