Self Sabotage

i have had this very self defeating thought habit where i clearly sabotage myself. this has been going on since i was about 15. basically what happens is i have very negative, specific defeating thoughts that make me suffer in some capacity. some examples are with sleeping, i get into patterns where i just dont let myself sleep. as i approach sleep my mind tells myself that i wont sleep and it watches as a gatekeeper and prevents me from sleeping. another is with golf, before and during a swing my mind will tell myself i am going to hit a terrible shot and then i do. another is sexually i tell myself i wont be able to perform and then i cant and suffer humiliation. these thoughts are all coming from my mind and are directly aimed at hurting me, causing me frustration and pain. its as if my mind is my enemy. is this part of OCD or a result of depression or? anyone ever experienced anything like this or have any information on such thinking? its like the ultimate self sabotage and very very disconcerning....

jonathan33 wrote:i have had this very self defeating thought habit where i clearly sabotage myself. this has been going on since i was about 15. basically what happens is i have very negative, specific defeating thoughts that make me suffer in some capacity. some examples are with sleeping, i get into patterns where i just dont let myself sleep. as i approach sleep my mind tells myself that i wont sleep and it watches as a gatekeeper and prevents me from sleeping. another is with golf, before and during a swing my mind will tell myself i am going to hit a terrible shot and then i do. another is sexually i tell myself i wont be able to perform and then i cant and suffer humiliation. these thoughts are all coming from my mind and are directly aimed at hurting me, causing me frustration and pain. its as if my mind is my enemy. is this part of OCD or a result of depression or? anyone ever experienced anything like this or have any information on such thinking? its like the ultimate self sabotage and very very disconcerning....

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