I don't know where to start. I will try and make it short.
I went to see a doctor about 2 or 3 years ago as I felt I was finally ready to get help. I was given sertraline/zoloft and was pretty much sent on my way. After a while of being on it I was given citalopram instead (zoloft didn't do anything), and was given a number to call so I could arrange seeing a psychologist. I went to see her for a consultation and the appointment was a little disappointing, we discussed one of my issues to do with body image but she seemed to ignore my other problems like depression and anxiety. I was put on the waiting list after this appointment and I am still on it. I will go along to the appointment when I get it but I do not feel like it will help me at all. All she offered me was everything I already knew.
I had been suffering anxiety and what not for years but started feeling really positive, I made changes, felt pretty good (not cured but good). that lasted a few months short of a year and now suddenly I am completely depressed.
My doctor is not bothered. I try to make an appointment and get told I can not be seen without a phone consultation but don't get one till the next day(when I miss it). He just gives me meds and sends me on my way.
I has been difficult the past few weeks and a lot of things have happened. It is too much to deal with and I start thinking about harming myself or even killing myself (suicide is not something I have planned). I want to talk to someone and feel like I am not worthless. I am just back where I started but with less hope and more depression.