I want to disappear

I feel like my life has been nothing but a gigantic failure. I resent my parents for bringing me into this world. I'm not suicidal but i wish i could just turn off a switch and stop existing. People tell me it could be worse, that i should be happy with what i have but i feel like i've wasted everything. I was always told i had so much potential as a kid yet i dropped out of school and am working a near minimum wage job (which i don't hate but it makes me feel so bad for everyone around me who believed in me). I can't picture myself doing this for the rest of my life but i also lack ambition. There is nothing i actively want to do apart from sleeping.

I dread getting out of the house because i feel so awkward. I gained a bunch of weight and nine of my clothes fit. Can't afford to renew my wardrobe. Even my work uniform became so small i couldn't even zip up my pants. I refuse to eat lunch at work and always find excuses as to why i'm not eating. I try to eat healthy but i have absolutely no support from my boyfriend. He doesn't help me with groceries or cooking and i just feel overwhelmed with everything i need to do. So instead i sleep. He complains that i go to bed early and never want to go out. I feel like i'm destroying our relationship. I used to be so happy and excited and now i cry and sleep.

I just want to stop existing. No one would miss me. I ###$ up my life and theird.

You sound like me in a depressed state, and I just hope it is not an all-the-time kind of feeling with you. Whether or not it is, I urge you to seek professional help. It may be that nothing can turn you into a truly happy, fulfilled woman, but I think there are a variety of things, including therapy, proper nutrition (possibly including my "drug of choice", blue-green algae, which is not really a drug, and exercise that can help.