When meds don't work

i always find it hard to know where to tart with these sorts of things, it's been a while.

I got off my meds a little while back, cymbalta. Cymbalta was awful, it was making my depression worse, and I was behaving more risky while on it, more suicida;. it was awful.

I was taking medicinal marijuana for the past month, and it was wonderful. Except for now my heart has decided it's had enough and I can't have any anymore.

The one thing that works and my body can't take it. What am I suposed to do? I've neen seeing the same damned doctors for the past ten years, meds have done nothing but make it worse for me (I've been on stratera and cymbalta, both can go straight to hell). i'm dealing with so much loss right now, kind of wondering if I should even bother continuing. Had to leave my first and only girlfriend, not even someone I knew in real life, and an abusive exfwb who took advantage of how I felt for her, isolation, anxiety, it never stops.

I I go to another doctor the only thing they'll do is give me new meds, which are $#%^.

When meds don't work what do you do?

This seems to be a duplicate post so am going to lock this thread.