New here. My story and opinions

Hi, I'm a girl 19 years, was diagnosed with with depression since 2 years, i think my depression is atypical, first it was very very very big, I have not words to describe, incredible, 24h crying, distraught, without understanding the life.

In this 2 years, i tried so much meds, and some of These help me for a short time, it gave me a false happines, but finally I always fell down again in the big depression.

I tried: Fluoxetine, Paroxetine, Pristiq, Cymbalta, Bupropion, Anafranil .. a few of These helped me, And Those who do it, it helped in the first moment, I felt every later of the negative symptoms, Brain Fog and Especially like if i do not Understood the world and was a very big poblem think, I can not live, literally isolated from the rest of society, in the well.

Now, my psychiatrist take off my medication, and I feel better with my cognitive symptoms and a bit with my thoughts, but I feel depressed, I think without meds I will not cure me, my biggest problem is my social isolation and my lack of motivation to be with anyone, or to do anything ..


on my own, I'm taking several things

One is Cerebrolysin, I have 12 days, I think it is helping.
Also ashawagandha, n-acetyl-cysteyne, magnesium, multivitaminic.

My psichologist say That I'm better 5 weeks before, i think That is true, so I dont feel neither the 25% that i would like to feel ... I only want enjoy my life like a regular person ... is so hard?

What i slould do ?
you'll also feel useless mentally?

*mod edit* Keep on with seeing the therapists and get a lot of physical exercise.

Sorry to hear about the problems your going through. It took doctors about 2 years to find a combination of meds that works for me. Prior to that I found that being around certain other people helped a lot. I felt too depressed to make much effort to see them but it did help me if I did.
The meds I am on now have a very negative effect on my cognitive function but I am happy so I am not bothered much by the problem.
Have you tried therapy? It is helpful to some people who are not helped by medication.
I would suggest making your goals small right now. If that works you can always work on bigger goals in the future. Doing one small thing per day really adds up over time.