I need help.

I just feel that life is not worth living anymore. I am really shy, suffer from Tourettes, and is having bad eating habits. Mom says I am beautiful (I lost a lot of weight) and should have a boyfriend, but I don't think they want me. I feel that my depression is about to relaspe, if it has not already done so.

i read your other post, the one in the anorexia forum. if you've recently lost a lot of weight it may take time for people to look at you as thin rather than big. it's wrong, but people are petty--specially in high school. it will take some time, but eventually someone will want you. it probably won't be too much time.

if you think your depression is coming back you need to talk somebody.

good luck,
kaelynn

youve got to feel beautiful within and detach from external validations. the physical self all fades away anywhow, externals are all temporary. having a boyfriend isnt the answer, they come and go. we come in alone and leave alone, youve got to feel comfortable alone and with who you are. everything from the outside that comes in and out of your life (externals) can be enjoyed or not but your peace and well being cannot be dependant upon them. you are who you are and that is fine, everything outside yourself will constantly be changing and try not to find your happyness from that, find it from unconditional acceptance at your deepst level.....that can never change and be with u forever. believe i have tried living through looks, appearances, weight, muscles, girls, jobs, sex, reputations, etc, etc, etc..... it does not work, it only yields pain, depression and anxiety....the only way i know to live in peace is to come from within and stay within.....nurture the center within......

wisdom, bravo, and yes, you will grow, just give yourself time:)

kaelynn wrote:i read your other post, the one in the anorexia forum. if you've recently lost a lot of weight it may take time for people to look at you as thin rather than big. it's wrong, but people are petty--specially in high school. it will take some time, but eventually someone will want you. it probably won't be too much time.

if you think your depression is coming back you need to talk somebody.

good luck,
kaelynn

My parents don't think I need to lose anymore. I still feel kind of big, even though I am one of teh skinniest ones in my classes.

I plan on talking to a therapist on Friday so maybe she can help with me these problems I have been having.

One of the hallmarks of a mental illness is distorted thinking. Having depression has led me to understand how someone with an eating disorder can perceive themselves as overweight.
Despite everything going for me--I know its the truth---my mind perceives myself as something different---pathetic, weird, and unloveable. This is something that is so hard to fight.

very hard, but for me, i was abused, bullied and very emotionally damaged by my parents, yes some say that is an excuse, but ###$ them, it was the reason, people hurt me, if i would havebeen raised in a loving and nurtureing home, i know i would have been differant, so maybe, for me, and for some others, you have to take a long look at why you are depressed, maybe it's because some asshole hurt you, and you feel unloved, daddy never loved me, he told me i was a ######6 dumbass, ever since i can remember, it's why i have trouble with guys, and falling for them too fast.

pretty much what i am trying to say is, there is a cause and effect for everything, and one day i realized that yea, they hurt me, but now what am i going to do about it

i couldn't do it on my own, but it's more bipolar disorder because i've been hurt since such an early age, it's all i'd ever known, and to get over it, i couldn't, so i'm on lamictal, and now i can say there's hope for me, look for your cure, everybody has a horse to ride, you just have to figure out how to ride yours.

Thanks for sharing. I can relate to some of your feelings and thoughts. Yes, I believe there are causes for our mental illness. Many times others, including parents, play a big part in making us who we are.

I had to search out the causes--that is get some understanding. I had to come to believe that my mental illness was not my fault--it just happened. Eventually, I had to come to forgive all those adults (parents, teachers) who did things to cause me to have problems. I had to appreciate that they were not perfect. Everyone makes mistakes and is sick in some ways--we all have weaknesses and dark sides. What happened, happened. It was painful. It hurt.

Then I had to move along in my life. At a certain time, I had to stop the analysis and the blame and move on. I had to teach myself new ways of thinking and acting. It was very hard at first--everything is when you start. I found many people to help me along. It did not occur overnight--it was a slow process--like learning a new language. Eventually, my life was far different.

But even today, I have to make a daily plan on what I want to accomplish. And every day, I need to remind myself of all the progress I have made. I have to be grateful for all that I have. I once was locked away with little hope of leading a normal life. I'm evidence that people do recover from mental illness. If I can do it, so can you. Don't give up hope.
Good Luck,
Jim S