Don't know where to post this. I know I deserve to die.

I'm stuck in a confusing place right now. I know I deserve to die. I'm just afraid of doing it and I don't want to hurt people who care about me. I want to live and be able to be happy, but I don't deserve it.

darkness3756 wrote:I'm stuck in a confusing place right now. I know I deserve to die. I'm just afraid of doing it and I don't want to hurt people who care about me. I want to live and be able to be happy, but I don't deserve it.

Why is it you think you deserve to die?

I was the reason my gf got killed. That's why I know i deserve to die.

But I realized something after about 2 dozen attempts. The Universe has a plan for you and trying to end the pain in your life through suicide is not the plan.

maybe you were meant to suffer your whole life. maybe you were meant to find the perfect partner and you would go on to have a happy relationship.

you deserve to be happy. that is why we have dopamine and endorphins. maybe right now, it sucks.

But honestly, you'll never find out how good it could get if you try and end it early.

I say, enjoy the ride and pay the game. You only get one shot at it so you might as well do something awesome like parachuting or drug smuggling in Singapore.

No one deserves to die (with some exceptions of course) and certainly not if. You don't say whether you have been diagnosed with depression, but having those kind of thoughts is often just a symptom of depression. Being depressed can bring those suicidal thoughts, but it is certainly not the case that everyone who suffers from depression, however bad it may be, that you deserve to die. Especially when you think that 1 in 4 of us are going to suffer some form of mental illness in our life and surely you can't think that so many people should die just because they're struggling with life. We all have something to give to the world. Just by reaching out and talking about your depression means that you are helping others. That really doesn't seem good reason to die.

Have you seen a doctor about the depression? It's just that a lot of people find medication and/or therapy can be really helpful. All you really need is a chance to get well.

RememberRonni wrote:Have you seen a doctor about the depression? It's just that a lot of people find medication and/or therapy can be really helpful. All you really need is a chance to get well.

I have been diagnosed with depression (as of about 3 years ago now) and I see a psychiatrist about once every 2 weeks and in times when I was worse I saw her more. I've been on medication since around then and it hasn't helped much. I do know I'm a terrible person though. I have my reasons. I'm not quite ready to say them.

Sorry that first line of my reply kind of stopped mid sentence. What I was going to say is you don't deserve to die because you have depression. And those exceptions; really I was talking about those who do something like commit mass genocide - really heinous acts where there is no remorse and no chance of redemption. I don't believe otherwise that anyone deserves to die.

I am glad you're getting some help. Do you think perhaps you need to talk to your doctor about the medication? If it isn't working maybe it needs to be reviewed - a different medication or just a different dose. Sometimes it takes a while to find the right medication for you.

And you don't need to talk about anything here unless you want to.

darkness3756 wrote:I'm stuck in a confusing place right now. I know I deserve to die. I'm just afraid of doing it and I don't want to hurt people who care about me. I want to live and be able to be happy, but I don't deserve it.

darkness3756, why is it you say you deserve to die? Everyone makes mistakes and bad decisions. Jeez, I've made hundreds of them but I wouldn't say I deserve to die. *mod edit* There have been times in the past when I've wanted to die and felt like I've deserved it but I've always stuck it out and tried to seek help. The medication I'm on now is OK and therapy was of benefit to me. I have said and done things that I'm not proud of and if I could have my time over again, sure I'd change a few things *mod edit*