Over-thought everything, now nothing interests me?

Hi i've posted a few topics on here and just thanks for all the help i've received for them, i've got a question that i've been trying to ask for some time now but don't really know the best way of getting out what i mean, so i'll try my best.

i feel like this past year i have over-thought so much, everything i thought about life has really been blown out of my mind. it's as if everything that once exicted me is no longer an avaialbity for me to tap into. i've found that i can still get enjoyment out of things that take my mind into the present moment but i know that it only passes the time, for example a basketball game on the xbox.

it's like i used to be excited with all the conversations and interactions between people and drama for instance tv shows, i could lose myself in books with great characters and stories, i would enjoy writing stories as well. i find that it is no longer possible, it takes such effort to watch a tv show, to follow the story, my mind is just not accepting any of the drama as exciting. everything i watch on tv, i'm cynical off, i just judge everything so negatively and it comes so naturally now. i no longer find extiement in challenging myself socially or taking a walk. the best way to sum it up is i view everything in black and white, just plain and i miss feeling emotions so much, i miss getting scared of a movie or feeling deep interest in documeatries. it's like nothing in life has anything for me anymore.

it all started when i started getting images of a person who i didn't want images off. i began thinking "what if i'm this person", i put it down as pure obessional (ocd) now but that really took over my life for months of just constant anxiety. everything i tried to do these thoughts would come. i tried to lose myself in a story and i couldn't, i wouldn't touch a book. these thoughts came along with thoughts of trying to over-think everything to crazy degrees socially. how a+b = c but in social situations, what could i do to do this or that. now i'm litteratly lifeless, i don't know what to do, i feel unemployable and unable to meet a friend, i can't imagine anybody wanting to spend time with me. i've become what i've always feared, just a complete bore, a depressing bore. i used to have such passions and opinions on things.

it's like my goal of trying to overcome my social anxieties, to no longer have fear has been accomplished to the point that i would try so hard to detatch myself from fear and emotions that now, it's impossible to get back, to just react to things. i feel like this is perhaps even permament and that my mind is just stuck in such a way that no matter how enjoyable something is, my mind will bring in thoughts like those intrusive thoughts i had about another person, that horrible obbession will come in and i'm out of the moment. or i just think of the situation in a very black and white way, i feel no emotion, no excitement, no one will be interested in me as i'm not interested in them or anything else.

i love to sleep, i love dreams because there things feel so real, i've not got this thinking mind, whether its a nightmare or a happy dream, it's great because i feel alive. that is the only thing and searching for music, downloading music, i spend most of my days just looking for music and arranging what little space i can afford on my ipod anything else just completely drains me, i don't want to experiment in cooking like i would once, nor get muscles and be worried about eating right, i eat as simply as i can now.

another thing i must mention which is important in this story of mine. i've always thought i had an unclear voice so i would be really nervous in conversations, trying to say what i knew i could say clearly. this has been my life for 20 years, now i'm 21 and i know that all this time i've been kidding myself. i can speak clearly, i always would wish at night that i could speak clearly and it was such a motivation in everything i did. but now that i've known this for the past 6 months, it's been so strange but now it's really been the last nail in the coffin, it's like i can speak so clearly, i no longer having emotion or enegry in my voice like i did. i know i can speak clearly and it all means so little now, it really has been a major factor leading to how i feel now. i over-think my speach and everybodies because thats what i've always done because i was so self-conscious of my own voice. so now that my voice is clear and normal like everyone elses, i always said i would be really confident if i had a clear voice and now that i've got one. i no longer feel that buzz and fear, that reaction of what i'm going to get, i just speak, i think so much about it, it just its zapped what i've spent so long obsessing over, my voice, that it's all been an illusion and i've always had a clear voice that i don't have a speech impediment is just crazy and it's really been another major factor to how i am now.

i don't know what i want from you guys if anyone in fact replies, i just need some hope i guess some idea or suggestion. what exactly is wrong with me, i wish there was something i could put it down to instead of just being a very negative person who no one wants to be around and to not want to be around anyone yet wish it wasn't so. i don't want it to just be negative thinking, i've tried positive thinking but i end up just feeling worse. is this just how my life is now, it there no way to overcome whatever it is i'm feeling?

i wish i could get all this out in a neat little paragraph, i know it's difficult to stay interested in such a long thread but please get back to me. thank you.`

Obviously I am not a doctor so I hope this doesn't sound like I am trying to give you some sort of diagnosis. It's just that a lot of what you're describing - that loss of interest in everything does sound like depression.

I love photography and that was my passion in life if you like. I used to be really active on these photography forum type sites. And reading too, I love to read. But in November 2012 I began to suffer quite badly with depression and suddenly I have no interest at all in anything. I haven't picked up the camera since November 2012. I can't remember the last time I read a book.

Have you spoken to a doctor about how you're feeling? Because they might be able to help you. A lot of people find medication and/or therapy helps and it's good to have a bit of extra support when you're feeling like that. You might find with a bit of help that you can find your way back to You again. And perhaps when you're feeling better finding a job or just getting back in touch with the things that you enjoy will come all by itself. In the meantime just focus on those things that do make you feel a little better.

Hang on in there, things will get better, you just have to give it time.