suicide (TW)

I've been trying to kill myself just about every night. If I'm awake, I'm probably researching on how to do it. I abort the attempts when I get too frustrated, tired, or someone wakes up.

I'm a lost cause. I've given up everything. I can't ever forgive myself. I'm in a perpetual state of sadness which I can't get out of. I've just been too sad for too long. There's so much on my mind, to a point where I can't handle anything. They're thoughts screaming in my head telling me "what if you've done ___" instead, etc. It's killing me, but I'm already dead inside.

Yet I can't manage to successfully do it. I still wake up every morning extremely upset that I'm still here. I don't know what to do. My head is a truly horrible place to be.

Annapurna wrote:I've been trying to kill myself just about every night. If I'm awake, I'm probably researching on how to do it. I abort the attempts when I get too frustrated, tired, or someone wakes up.

I'm a lost cause. I've given up everything. I can't ever forgive myself. I'm in a perpetual state of sadness which I can't get out of. I've just been too sad for too long. There's so much on my mind, to a point where I can't handle anything. They're thoughts screaming in my head telling me "what if you've done ___" instead, etc. It's killing me, but I'm already dead inside.

Yet I can't manage to successfully do it. I still wake up every morning extremely upset that I'm still here. I don't know what to do. My head is a truly horrible place to be.

Forgiving yourself is a difficult task. I think you have to find a power higher than yourself to truly forgive others and YOURSELF.

You're not a lost cause. You're unhappy, and you're lost.... but there is hope somewhere deep down inside. You know it, because you're still here. I truly hope you find that peace within you, because once you do find it, it will always win.

You're not alone.

-- Tue Jun 03, 2014 12:34 am --

"I'm still here" - these words are POWERFUL.

You are still here, and you're here for a reason. One day you'll look past yourself, and you will see what you're worth. You're here, and SOMEONE will be grateful one day.

I'm still here- POWERFUL words. Find your strength.

*Hugs*