change

For anyone who wants to change their life
(Specially want to help “irrational thinking” discussion)

You do what you don’t want to (behavior or thoughts) because you get some kind of pay of, otherwise you wouldn’t do it, ex: hot stove=definite undesirable result, thus no repetition. So if you find what you get out repetiting, you could stop or change to healthier behavior.

Also many people agree to change your life you must take control of it. You take control by taking responsibility for your choices, actions & thoughts. This means that you don’t blame anyone, because if you blame that means others have the power over your life (not you) & there nothing you can do about it. So don't look for blame or faults; look for solutions.
--It’s not fair that you had horrible past, but nevertheless you steel have to deal w/ it; you got to stop reliving it & hurting yourself.

If something bothers/ worries you, if you feel inadequate- do something about it to get where you want to be. You got the same brain as everybody else & if you do what they did, you get what they got. Ask yourself: What kind of person would it take to get what I want? & then act that way.

You become happy by doing things that matters to you. So identify what do you really want/ what do you feel you lack, then figure out how you can get it (plan), then brake it down to daily specific task & time. Don’t fail yourself, keep trying until you succeed; thing that you want is worth it. Start assessing where you are (don't make it worse or better) then focus on where you want to be, & then look at what has to happen to get where you want to be.

Confidence comes from experience. If you want to have good self esteem & confidence you must start doing thing that you don’t want & afraid of, that how you build your overcoming fear muscle. + You feel fear/anxiety of something anyway (it lasts & makes you feel worse), so why not put same fear in positive direction?

You can’t get positive solutions from negative mind. Thus take brake, take your mind of negative thought by focusing on present (surroundings, your body) or do something (exercise or learn something new)

Go opposite, to get where you want to be you must do these things. First copy people who succeed, associate pleasure w/ what you want. Take one thing at a time, which you want to do. If you get result how would you feel? Picture it! Feel as if you’re there. What are the reasons you want it. Focus on it so it inspires you.
Ask: What I am happy about right now? (if your brains says nothing, paraphrase it to) What could I be happy about if I had to be?
What I am grateful for? (What wrong is always available, so is what right—any small thing)

If you not doing things you want, it’s because you associate more pleasure to staying the way you are than making change. To get your self motivated associate pain w/ staying the way you are (ask: what have I missed out on? How will my life turn out if I don’t change? Etc.) & associate pleasure w/ change.

If you depressed there is only one reason for it—it’s because you delete all the reasons to feel grate, & if you feel good it’s because you delete all the reasons to fell bad. Positive thinking is power to focus on what you do have (instead what you don’t); focusing on solutions (instead of problems), focus on how to turn around/deal w/ problem (instead of giving up). Your focus =your reality. What ever you think about, you get emotional response to, so choose wisely.

All you need is to truly to want it, that means you’ll show it by doing what it takes to reach what you want
This is not all, if you interested in changing your self, go to the library & get Self help books or search the internet.

I hope this helps