Sharing some hope?

Hi all,

I am new here, just signed up for this message board. Thought I might have stuff to contribute as well as things to gain from being here.

I've struggled with bad depression for a decade. It's been a very hard road for me.

It's still a struggle, but lately I've been doing and feeling better. I feel like mentally I'm at a much better place than I used to be. I'm on medication that seems to help me function, but on top of that I've finally had some therapy that I've found useful. It's been in the CBT / DBT traditions (although I have not been diagnosed as borderline to my knowledge).

I've come to realize that for the most part, it's not life that has made me miserable, but my own thoughts. I guess this is obvious to people from the outside, but it's hard to see when you are stuck in it yourself, from the inside.

But lately I've been seeing it. I'm trying to adopt healthier ways of thinking, and I think they have been helping. I try to be more tolerant and accepting of what life throws at me. Also, I am trying to be less goal oriented and more open to living in the moment and going with the flow of things. I've found this useful. Perhaps most importantly, I am trying to decrease and shed as much as possible the unhealthy ways of thinking that hold me back: that I am a horrible person, that I am worthless, that everything is terrible, that life has to be a certain way for me to be ok.

Anyway, I just wanted to share some hope that it's possible to struggle with depression for a very long time, and to still struggle with it, but to feel somewhat better. I'd love to chat and connect with other people on here who might want to. Anyway, thanks for reading, I appreciate it, and hope you are doing ok.

Hello!

I have undergone a lot of CBT and I must say it has changed my life enormously. While I still get depressed -- bipolar here -- I have managed to get rid of most of the "stinking thinking" that used to plague me so badly before. While medication allowed me to, well, survive and get to a place where I was good enough to be able to go through with therapy, it was really my therapist who showed me life free of depression.

Something I found extremely important was: I needed to stop dwelling in the past. I'd get to a tram stop and see the back of the tram that just departed, then spend the next 10 minutes telling myself off for being a slow, lazy slob, that can't even make it to work on time, etc., etc. But this tram HAS LEFT. It doesn't matter what I am going to think, it won't come back. Even if I drop on my knees and pray to heavens it still won't come back. Therapy taught me to shrug and be like "whatever" and spend those next 10 minutes listening to music from my ipod. The tram was still gone, I'd still arrive at work 10 minutes later, but I'd feel much better about myself.

Big hugs and thanks indeed for sharing!

Oliveira wrote:Hello!

I have undergone a lot of CBT and I must say it has changed my life enormously. While I still get depressed -- bipolar here -- I have managed to get rid of most of the "stinking thinking" that used to plague me so badly before. While medication allowed me to, well, survive and get to a place where I was good enough to be able to go through with therapy, it was really my therapist who showed me life free of depression.

Something I found extremely important was: I needed to stop dwelling in the past. I'd get to a tram stop and see the back of the tram that just departed, then spend the next 10 minutes telling myself off for being a slow, lazy slob, that can't even make it to work on time, etc., etc. But this tram HAS LEFT. It doesn't matter what I am going to think, it won't come back. Even if I drop on my knees and pray to heavens it still won't come back. Therapy taught me to shrug and be like "whatever" and spend those next 10 minutes listening to music from my ipod. The tram was still gone, I'd still arrive at work 10 minutes later, but I'd feel much better about myself.

Big hugs and thanks indeed for sharing!

I know what you mean about living in the past, that has often been a problem for me too. Glad you're able to spend your time in the present moment now