No matter what I do I always lose

I have been diagnosed with severe depression and I work hard to manage it. I've been working out and just got off of Lexapro and things have been going great at work.

But just like every other time in my life, as soon as things start going well something horrible happens. Last summer I lost a bunch of weight and my wife's mother died so I fell back into depression and gained it all back.

Now I've been losing it again and I get a notice that they are giving everybody a 25% pay cut. I' was salesperson of the year in 2013 and am currently sitting in 2nd place. Now I have to go look for a new job again like I always do when I get screwed at work. I have a long history of being taken advantage of.

First it was the guy I spent ten years working for and building up his business only to have him sell it without giving me any warning.

Then I went to work for another guy who turned out to be shady and asked me to do some things that were very unethical and borderline illegal. I quit that job immediately and he sued me for a breach of a non-compete agreement. I spent ten years in that lawsuit that led to a suicide attempt. When it was all said and done, I didn't have to pay anything but it still scarred me.

Then I was recruited by a company that used me for five months and then fired me. The owner of the company had cancer and needed somebody to take care of his customers while he was out and when he recovered he just canned me.

And now I work to become the top guy and they just decide to cut commissions and I have zero recourse.