Feeling Numb?

I am currently not dealing with any bad OCD thoughts but I wasn't quite sure which forum to post this on. I dealt with my OCD on my own, with help from people on this site, and my OCD is doing a lot better now. However, I'm feeling very depressed and I'm at the point that I can't really feel anything and I feel like everyone hates me and I'm probably better off dead. I have no one to talk to about this. My mom doesn't like it when I talk to her, so I mostly leave her alone. My stepdad always works and he doesn't really know much on the matter of depression. He always tells me to just "go outside" or "get a hobby". I am homeschooled so I can't go to a couseler and I don't see any other people usually. I don't have any friends so I can't talk to them about this. The thing is, I just feel really numb to everything. Today, I got a big bruise on my foot from dropping a stapler on it, but I kinda liked the pain because I actually felt something. I don't feel very suicidal in the sense of thinking about how I'd do it, but it's more like I'm probably better off being dead. I don't self-harm or anything, so I'm guessing that's good. I don't know what to do now, though. I really just want someone to talk to about this.