Depression for two years won't end

I got into a major depression two years ago and it's ruined my life. It is so bad I can't get out of bed until 3 or 4pm most days and even then I just lie on the couch. I had a job of 7 years that I still went to after the depressive episode started but it got hard to go in. I went on a two month leave of absence then went back to work for several months but called out and was late a lot. I went back out for a couple weeks to go into a mental hospital then went back to my job for a day and ended up straight back in the hospital. After I got out I couldn't go back to work. I felt horrible. The hospital stays made me feel worthless and I couldn't get out of bed anymore after I got home. I tried applying for disability and it was denied. I got fired from the job eventually because my leave of absence wasn't taken care of and I couldn't make the disciplinary meetings for staying out. I didn't do my taxes from last year because I literally can't make it out of bed most days. If I have to go out I drink alcohol to calm me but I got caught and got a dui, now it feels impossible to ever find work again. I lay here day in and day out feeling like hell. I can't stand waking up each day because my life is so bad. I have so many bills and I may soon lose my place. I am frightened to be out on the streets. I can't clean and eat only once a day. I have no one because I don't even return phone calls anymore and get angry if anyone visits without telling me. I have lost all passion for life and have absolutely no motivation to save myself. I just wish I had never been born because no that I'm here I'm afraid to die. I lost my beauty that I once had so I don't even look good anymore. I am ashamed of my life and the way I am living and it makes everything so much worse. I have no idea what to do anymore because I just am done with trying. I just sit here and do nothing all day, I feel so horrible and worthless.

Hi Dangerous Type,

I have been where you are. I don't pretend to know what will help you, but here are things that helped me get out of paralyzing depression:
1. acupuncture & Chinese medicine. Specifically, an herbal formula available through a practitioner called Salvia & Amber (7 Forests). Way better than any antidepressant I ever tried.

2. aerobic exercise: running, swimming, bicycling, jumping rope in your apartment. Anything that gets your heart pumping.

3. Going to 12-step meetings (AA & Alanon--didn't matter that I don't drink alcohol very often or to excess). It is the meeting process that helped.

4. Reading Seth Speaks and The Nature of Personal Reality, both by Jane Roberts.

I hope you find peace and maybe one of the above recommendations helpful.