I just want to die. (*T*? new, don't know the etiquette yet)

I didn't know where to put this, hope this is ok.

I can't kill commit suicide because it would destroy my 23yo son and I have several pets that depend on me. But DAMN I want to! I don't want to be here anymore!

A month ago I voluntarily went into a 72 hour psych program, and I'm now on an Cymbalta (AD and for my fibromyalgia), Klonopin (anxiety/panic disorder/PTSD), and Trazadone (sleep). I'm happy with the combo; The Cymbalta has completely eliminated my pain (suffered for at least 20 years now), the klonopin helps me with the PTSD, and the Trazadone helps me sleep FINALLY!!! I've also started weekly therapy. I should be feeling, if not better, at least not worse!!!!!!!!

But I am so done. DONE. All I do is cry anymore.

I am hoping for advice for someone who has been where I am and ...I don't know, just someone who can relate.

Don't worry, I'm NOT going to kill myself, I just WANT TO SO BAD!

There will be a day when you will look back at this time and be happy you aren't dead

Sometimes the best cure is time. Trust me, the wait is worth it, and if not at least you can say you bore through these dark times

Hi peasantgirl,

I'm sorry you are feeling so badly. I hope things turn around soon and it does seems more likely now that they will, given you have found a good drug combo (yay!) and have a (hopefully good) therapist. One thought I had is that while therapy can be very helpful to gain greater insights and understanding of yourself and your situation, the process that it takes to get there may not always be pleasant so it won't necessarily help with feeling better right away.

I can't say I have felt quite like you do, but you have come to the right place where others will relate. I found a puppy who I think could relate as well -




*hugs*
Jan

Having been suicidal myself once upon a time, I can relate. But what you should consider is how even if it's dying you want, you still want something so isn't it possible you also want other things? To feel joy once more, or cessation of pain, or laugh, or other pleasantness. Dying isn't really an end to our pain as much as it's a beginning of new pain for those we leave behind. And the thought of hurting those who love us trying to escape from our situation usually reveals how selfish suicide actually is. The worst pain is better than the best being dead. At least if we're alive and struggling there's hope for better things. But if we check out there's no hope at all, only pain. If we didn't know anyone on Earth, had no family (or pets) and no one'd know we died it'd be different but we all know somebody who's gonna freak if they hear we killed ourselves. How suicide effects others should always be on our minds and serve as motivation to tough it out. We don't always feel like dying. There will be moments we feel such joy the very idea we once felt so down we wanted to die will make us laugh. Something as simple as a pet coming over and laying it's head in your lap, catching a favorite movie on tv, or helping someone else cope with a difficulty when no one else could - there's always something to look fowards to.

Thx guys, I feel a little better today. Thx for the pic, janjones!