so tired.... what can i do

I just really need someone to talk to or talk at right now. been treated for depression near 2 years. near suicide attempt march last year. been in therapy 3 years.

i'm past caring about anything really, just that I need a rest, I am so tired. I've been coping since I was a small child.... I've had to cope with everything on my own, no parents, (I have parents but my dad told me he didn't care, and not to talk to him, and my mother can't handle any problems and would tell me to go away whenever I went to her).....

I finally got myself some help 3 years ago. anyway that's not what I care about... all I care about right now is that I am so tired, i'm tired in my heart and my bones and my skin and my hair, my brain... everything... my therapist says i'm burnt out, I haven't had a holiday away from my home in 17 years.... I've not had more than a week off work at a time in 12 years....

I cannot get more than a week off in the job I've been in for 8 yrs they make us book our weeks off a year in advance.... it's a really high pressure job, but very stable which is why I stay but so busy there isn't time to get a drink a lot of the time even.... my head hurts cuz I'm so tired i'm falling asleep everywhere, at my desk, at cinema, on the floor, on the bus, my tiredness is impacting everything.

my problem is my work is telling me I'm not doing good enough there anymore, and they have said they think it's just a case of "you don't seem willing to try" and i'm stumbling around making myself sick trying to just get there on time....my therapist tried to help me get signed off by doc but when I took therapist letter to doc, all he would say is, he would not give me more than two weeks, because I have depression and people with depression get tired etc... I'm not good at explaining things...just that I know the depression is only part of this, because I am overworked, miserable and exhausted beyond belief. I feel like I may have to quit my job cuz the dr won't help me get a rest, my work won't give me time off and my therapist is baffled at my drs response...and I don't feel I have the energy to be arguing with any of them, I shouldn't have to fight for my health like this. I haven't slept more than 5 hrs a night in 4 years, due to person al circumstance. yet I can't think abut anything except that I am exhausted and want to lay down...all the time... why is it so wrong that I just need a break. why are there so many rules and crap that I have to fight through just to keep my health, somehow..... what do I do???

well, thanks all. What a wonderful use of my time. Bye.

Hi there Kari Blue

I am sorry that there has been a delay in you getting a response...

It sounds like you are in a really difficult position at the moment and am really sorry that you are struggling with depression and what sounds like complete exhaustion.

Could you maybe take the initial 2weeks off sick that your doctor initially offered you and then once you are off sick see if he is able to offer you any more? I'm really glad that you have a therapist and that they are able to offer you some help and support. It sounds like they really want to help, I don't really know what to recommend on what to do other than listen to your therapist and to what your body is telling you which is to sleep and rest. I agree that people who suffer with depression don't always do so well with lots of time off work but like your therapist suggested it sounds like you need some space and some time.

Sorry i can't be of more help but here if you want to talk anymore.