I don't know what to do...and my time is running out.

I've been depressed for a long time now, and I'm seriously considering suicide. I'm not afraid of dying, because I believe that there must be something more than mortal life. I'm just afraid of the pain, so the only thing really holding me back is finding a painless way to do it.

I don't really have anyone to turn to, because my mother who I live with is a therapist and always tries to treat me like one of her patients. My doctor doesn't trust me, so I'm very reluctant to ask her about a psychiatric reccomendation. My friends can be helpful sometimes, but lately they've all been wrapped up in their own problems. Sometimes I think they think that I'm doing this just to get attention or something. I'm not.

I've tried online support groups like this one, and hundreds of sites that remind me of what I'm leaving behind, but I haven't been convinced. I know that what I plan to do is cruel to those that love me, but I don't think I'm going to be able to stop myself unless I get some decent help very, very soon.

Does anyone know of a way that I can get professional help as a minor without going through my legal guardian?

Hey,

I can imagine your frustration about your mother being a therapist - She should realise that she cannot be the professional here. However, you must realise that in order for people to understand you, you must speak what is on your mind. Therefore, next time she starts to annoy you on this matter tell her what you are thinking and tell her what you want. If you want a new psychiatrist then tell her. Also, say what you think is wrong with the current psychiatrist and don't give-in if she dismisses your views.


You cannot kill yourself. There is a great life out there waiting for you... ...You just have to make a few choices that leads you to that life. It starts right NOW. The next thing you do will be the first step on the road to a better way of living.


Kevster


PS - Can you go to see a counsellor at your school/college? They can be great aides.

Sneakily look in the yellow pages or the equivalent for where you live. Look under counselling/youth.

You should find there a charity offering free, confidential counselling for teens.

I don't think you're in the U.K, but this might give you ideas on terms to google search/ thumb through the yellow pages for:-

http://www.connexions-direct.com/

Is for 'information and advice for young people'. I think t is funded by government to help young people. There will be something like it where you are.

Hope this helps,
Love
Kath

P.S. Are you at school /college? They will have a counsellor. You may not feel able to talk to them but they will be able to give you contact details for other organisations to try.

Please don't kill yourself. I once felt as you did. For some reason, I just did not go through with the act. My life eventually got better. I'm glad that I did not kill myself, although it did make sense at the time.
Jim s

You've done an amazing thing by reaching out on this website. Just by doing that you've taken a huge step, don't stop, keep talking to us, we're here to help as much as possible. Keep reaching out, your worth it. I can remember a few years ago when I wanted to end things, what I didn't realise until later was that it was the pain I wanted to end, or the lack of pain, the numbness and the feeling of defeat, I still wanted to live, just felt defeated. I'd really like to hear from you again, if you wouldn't mind posting another message?

yes i agree that depression is not a good thing. however i think that th ere are some ways that yo ucan get through it. one thing that i find very helpful is watching comedy central. there are some very funny shows on that channel. i also suggest that you pay attention to basdeball. i think that payint attention to a sport such as baseball can be very relaxing. i also think that yo should shoot a lot of baskets in your driveway, or at your local park. i find that shooting some hoops cna be very relaxing and can help you to releive stress. i find that it is easiest to make up some games while playing basketball. i think that you should start measuring your free throw percentage and then you will start to progress, and you can boost your self esteem by watching your free throw percentage progress.