Life can be over any time now... please.

Wow, what a complete waste of time. I poured my heart out into a posting about my issue and then the site lost it. Great. Seems typical for some reason. Let me just summarize that I am 53, female, and have no will to go on since all I do is work and live from paycheck to paycheck. I will never get to retire and It makes me so sad to come to terms with the fact that I will have to work until the day I die - and I really do hope that comes sooner than later. I just don't want to do this any more. Life can be over. I have no reason to live at all. All I have is work, and I am so so very tired.

Let me just summarize that I am 53, female, and have no will to go on since all I do is work and live from paycheck to paycheck. I will never get to retire and It makes me so sad to come to terms with the fact that I will have to work until the day I die -

I understand, on a down day I feel the same.
Unfortunately I never received a good education so the job I do is mundane. Every day like ground hog day.
If my job interested me I'd be OK.
Does your job interest you at all?

BlindLemonFishStix wrote:and then the site lost it.

Why are you unable to accept responsibility for your own actions? The site had nothing to do with your inability to properly post a thread. I am curious if you also try to blame others for you general dissatisfaction with life and the sad situation you are in now?

TrapGod - it was a registration recognition issue. It kept bouncing me out and asking repeatedly for login/registration. I have no problem with accepting responsibility since my life is nothing but responsibility. I am responsible for everything, it seems, and I don't blame anyone else. Everything I am, and am not, is of my own doing. Now retract your claws or go find someone else to claw at. You are being a judgmental jerk.

Yorkshirelass - I have a degree in Computer Science, but that guarantees nothing. Some of the most brilliant people I know are only high school graduates. Don't sell yourself short. A college degree just means you have a piece of paper that cost a lot of money and time and you spent 4 years drinking beer and figuring out how to take tests.

To answer your question, I despise my job. I do tech support for a software company and It is horrible. I get paid badly to solve everyone else's problems all day long. After doing this for upwards of 25 years, I really have gotten to the point where I hate people. But, at my age no one is going to hire me for anything much unless I want to be a Walmart greeter. When I interview for other jobs they just want young people. Anyone over the age of 40 is screwed out there in the job market. I have to just hold onto this job and hope that I don't have to live much longer and deal with it day in and day out. I am worn out, old, tired and know that there is no point to any of this crap we call "life". When you are young, you think differently. Being old really does put a different face on things. You come to terms with the fact that there *IS* nothing else, that nothing you do matters in the slightest, and that there is really no point to fighting since every breath and every moment is just prolonging the daily suck.

BlindLemonFishStix wrote:TrapGod You are being a judgmental jerk.

You are a lot kinder than I am. But he/she/it probably thrives on negative attention. A lot of people do.

Anyway, I thought the same thing. I am 57, an accountant and just got desperately sick of my job after working 30 years in the soul sucking, back stabbing office environment. I just quit it and took 8 months off. I moved to a different state and found another job. I hate people too! I always will! But I had to consciously decide to separate people from the work. It can happen. Maybe you could say, okay I'm going to use my current employer (if they have tuition benefits), take a class to upgrade/learn a skill and put that on my resume (find a short term goal). With your years of experience and your field you will do fine. Youth isn't what all employers are looking for. Many employers want people who have experience with real life, real people and the real workplace.

The important thing is not to panic and let this snowball into a state where you are paralyzed. You have the background and the education and the intelligence. If you can take some time off, do it. Depression paralyzes you and you become hopeless. But it is not the reality. Please believe me.

Take care!

BlindLemonFishStix »
I lose posts, I'm a slow typer so I seem to get timed out, frustrating when you have put much emotion in.
People tell me to retrain, change jobs, but I'm older and can't compete with all the bright young things whos gonna want me?
I do understand.
I'm wondering though, is the menopause an issue?
I have found since the menopause I have lost interest in most things for instance I'm always loved a bit of retail therapy, but now its 'Oh what's the point, can't be bothered'.
I did ask my doctor for HRT but she wasn't keen, I know it helped my sister made a tremendous difference.

And TrapGod wonders why he can't make any friends...

On a separate note: I have an Honors degree in Animal Science, I am 26, But no one wants to employ me. Why? A) I am white (In South Africa this is really a discriminating factor against you) B) I am a woman (and no one told me farmers refuse to listen to a woman with a higher education) and C) I don't have experience in the field - but how am I supposed to get it if no one wants to give me a chance?

The problem you have is honestly not your age - Like I said, I am half your age and still can't find work.

I also feel like I don't have a point in life. You will say: But you are young, you will still find it. And again: It is not about age. I can die today in a car accident and you can still live to be 100.

Unfortunately, other than telling you your age should not be a factor of your depression I can't help since I am also having a very low week. Hope you feel better soon. Stay Strong!

Hi. When you log into the site, there is an option to click onto to prevent being timed out. It appears next to the option to hide your online status. It can be frustrating when you lose a post, especially if you have poured your feelings out, only to find that your words have vanished. Another option is to periodically save your words, so you can return to them.

Wow, what a complete waste of time. I poured my heart out into a posting about my issue and then the site lost it. Great. Seems typical for some reason. Let me just summarize that I am 53, female, and have no will to go on since all I do is work and live from paycheck to paycheck. I will never get to retire and It makes me so sad to come to terms with the fact that I will have to work until the day I die - and I really do hope that comes sooner than later. I just don't want to do this any more. Life can be over. I have no reason to live at all. All I have is work, and I am so so very tired.

I'm so sorry to hear that you feel this way. It sounds as if you're finding very little pleasure in your life, and that all you seem to be doing is working. I'm wondering if you're feeling that things are futile because you're depressed or if you're depressed because your life seems to consist of little more than work. It's possible that you may not even know the answer to this, and that this is a chicken/egg situation. I'm wondering if you're also lonely, with little support?

Sometimes just knowing that you're being heard and that there are other people in the same situation can help a person to feel less of a sense of isolation, and it can be encouraging to hear of how others overcame their feelings of hopelessness. Perhaps a helpful thing you can do for yourself at the moment is to tell someone, and not to keep your feelings bottled up. Talking things through can bring a huge sense of relief and perhaps enable you to view your situation with a greater degree of objectivity, perhaps even seeing small glimmers of hope and the possibility of a positive way forward. Please speak to a therapist and also your doctor, just in case your depression is caused by a chemical inbalance or physical cause. Depression can be treated very effectively.

If you feel unsafe or hopeless, then please take yourself to your nearest hospital where they can help you.

TrapGod, you said

Why are you unable to accept responsibility for your own actions? The site had nothing to do with your inability to properly post a thread. I am curious if you also try to blame others for you general dissatisfaction with life and the sad situation you are in now?

You are being unhelpful and unsupportive and I'll be PMing you.

To the people who made comments about TrapGod, please can you report a post in which a member has been unsupportive so that we can deal with it. Making further comments to members only serves to derail a thread and detracts from the OP's main issue. The rules state that issues or concerns about other members conduct should be brought to the moderator's attention and not dealt with on the public forum.



Tr

OP,

I am sorry to read your pain.. Were I a sorcerer, I would think it away in a heart beat, same as I would disperse everyone else's troubles I have come across on this website..

You seem to be in an extreme situation. For mind, just because you don't find yourself mixed up with something Watergate-esque, or atop a mountain peak, or gun held to head, does not mean that you are not mired in something extreme..

For mind, given the extreme nature of your situation, my thinking is as follows:

You need to take extreme action. You need to take a risk or risks such that alongside risking finances and/or family, and/or career, and/or reputation.. you also risk transcending your situation.

I don't know anything about you: whether you have kids for instance or a car, even..

I know that were I you, I would think of my life up to today's point, as a trajectory.

If I were you I would seek to amend that trajectory such, that, again, you risk transcendence.

I'm not saying you should start a cult.. rather.. Up until now you have been beating a path through the forest... Why not now venture off said path, into the unknown.