Enjoy sadness?

Hello,

I am new to this forum but have been searching for something exactly like this for a while now. I was broken up with from the love of my life about 4+ months ago. I was already depressed and didn't know why. I have always been a fun-loving person until about 2 years ago. Nothing drastic happened, no deaths, no career changes...just a random form of depression hit and hasn't left. All I do is dwell on the past and cry. Is it possible I enjoy being sad? Is there a condition that some people have? Any info would help.

Thank you

I fell like this is something I have. I rarely feel anything truly intense. When a major depressive episode hits, I'm almost glad for it. It's like an old comfortable friend who knows all your deepest darkest secrets and you can just surrender to. It's easy to give into its whispering and just allow yourself to feel like utter trash. There's a sort of enjoyment to it, at least in my experience.

Doc Grant wrote:I fell like this is something I have. I rarely feel anything truly intense. When a major depressive episode hits, I'm almost glad for it. It's like an old comfortable friend who knows all your deepest darkest secrets and you can just surrender to. It's easy to give into its whispering and just allow yourself to feel like utter trash. There's a sort of enjoyment to it, at least in my experience.

omg that seriously sounds like me................. fml I'm tired of feeling like utter trash though, this is getting old I guess.

I have periods of feeling emotionless, so I kind of enjoy negative feelings in some sort of twisted way, because at least I'm feeling something

I can definitely relate to this,i also enjoy feeling sad and crying, sometimes because it relieves me, sometimes just because i feel like i deserve it..

I find some comfort in feeling sad when I know (logically) that I'm safe while I'm feeling it.

-- Fri Sep 27, 2013 6:01 pm --

I find some comfort in feeling sad when I know (logically) that I'm safe while I'm feeling it.

There is no one who genuinely "enjoys" being sad, but sadness is often mixed with an aspect of pleasure : Such as after the death of a close friend or relative, the melancholy a person experiences is not pure sadness, but a bittersweet mixture of sadness and warmth (warmth from the fond memories of that person, and sadness from the knowledge that such warmth is lost forever).

There are also secondary aspects from which a person may derive pleasure from the simple fact that he is sad, depressed: Picturing oneself as a suffering martyr is a narcissistic source of pleasure many people derive from being depressed -it romanticizes their lives. Also, people may get pleasure from the sympathy they receive from other people when they announce to them that they are depressed. But these kinds of things never outweigh the physical displeasure that sadness causes.

What makes you feel as though you are enjoying being sad? Which memories of your past are you dwelling on? That usually is a big clue to why you feel sad in the first place.

I do genuinely enjoy being sad. If you think you can argue with both me AND ALL of my doctors/former doctors about how I do and do not genuinely feel, then you need to drink a big tall glass of Getoveryourself, oh great Guru of Every Single Individual's Mind. When it comes to what humans do and do not GENUINELY enjoy, NOTHING is universal. Period.

For a long time I felt dead - no joy, no pain, no depression as is usual - so the day when the sad, depressing feeling came back I was actually pleasantly surprised. Surprised that I can still FEEL SOMETHING. I know all about how sadness can be like a "default setting". Like that is what is normal for me. But I hate feeling like this now. I would much rather prefer to not feel anything at all.

I think this is what people do not get about clinical depression - this is how it feels. It may not be right or normal but we can't change what we feel. I'm sorry you feel like this but I hope you feel at least a bit better soon.