Struggling to deal narcissistic abuse

Struggling to deal narcissistic abuse and think I might be having a break down. What are the signs, I can't eat it sleep keeping having nightmares and obsessing over my ex and what went on kinda reliving arguments and things she said. I feel so low like I'm never going to find happiness and wondering what's wrong with me.

morgan16: You've done 60 replies so you're running all over Psych Forums posting replies. If you happen to read this, answer here in the topic you started. I have a number of suggestions of ways you might help get yourself out of the running in circles state you're in.

I sent you a direct message

If so, I can't find it. Why not just post here so viewers might learn something or at least be entertained by our conversation

Ok good thinking

morgan16: I just wrote 2339 in my daily log. It's 11:32am and that's how many breaths I've counted so far today. Got up late, after 9. A lot of losing count as I lolled in bed and dozed off and on. Went back to the last 100 I recalled each time I lost count. 223.9 minutes of counting at 10 per minute. 12 per minute is the fastest I breathe, 6 or less is my slower rate.

I've counted breaths for years and years, and done it more and more. First ran into it back in '69 at a Esalen Institute Workshop. I give the practice much credit for making me at 88+ being as happy as I can imagine being. I enjoy every minute, every breath. Even as I don't count as I write you. It helps me stay aware, tuned in, turned on.

That's me, not you. Whether telling yourself 22 as you inhaled and a slow 39 as you exhaled slowly would move you towards happiness, I can't know. At worst, if you try it, it should help you keep from running all over the place like a chicken with your head cut off. Let me know how it goes, I have several other things you can try.

Morgan16, it can take some time to come to terms with the thoughts and feelings associated with an abusive relationship, and some time to reestablish your sense of identity and self esteem. It's very important that you treat yourself very gently and with kindness and compassion, the compassion that you deserved and were denied during the course of this relationship. If you can aim to do something kind for yourself every day, no matter how seemingly small, you can help yourself to get into the mindset that you deserve to be kind to yourself and that you're a person of immense value and worth.

If the feelings become overwhelming, then you may need to speak to your doctor. Speaking to a therapist can also be very helpful as it can enable you to process all of your emotions and to work upon your self esteem, which can be very empowering.

Please bear in mind that although some of our members are well meaning, they can't and shouldn't replace the work of a trained professional who can use their specialised training into working with you to find a way forward, enabling you to become empowered, authentically you, and to function healthily as an autonomous human being.