confusion!

Hey,
I guess I just need some advice and support right now...My grandmother, whom I lived with for 7 years of my life is in the hospital right now, and she is expected to die within a few days. I feel so lost and confused right now...It's especially hard, because I've had such a mixed relationship with this woman. When she lived with us, she was very emotionally abusive (i know it seems strange to think of an elderly woman being abusive, but trust me...), and eventually the police had to remove her from our house when it was upsetting my mom too much and everything was getting out of control. But, I still love her, and she also has many good qualities. We've been closer since she moved out 3 years ago, and part of me is grieving, but the other part of me wishes she would just die (I feel terrible saying it, but it's true). Does anyone know how I feel, about having mixed feelings about watching a loved one pass away?
thanks for listening!!!!

Hi,


I have never had to endure the death of a loved one in my life so I am only trying to imagine your emotions. The title of your thread is perfectly apt however: Confusion. That is what you are experiencing because your brain has two extremes of emotions for this elderly lady. It does not know whether it loves this lady, or hates her.


However, why not think of it in a different light: You can both like and dislike her at the same time. This is a perfectly normal thing to do and I believe that if you feel more comfortable with your mixed emotions then the love you feel for her will fluorish.

Hey Chucky,
Thanks for your advice and support! My grandmother just passed away this morning at 1 AM, and although I'm still filled with mixed emotions, I'm trying to learn to remember the whole picture of my grandmother- both the good and the bad. It's funny; although I'm feeling sad, I don't think it's quite hit me yet. I still feel numb...
Thanks again for the advice, it means a lot to me.
And if any1 else reads this and has any thoughts at all...please reply.
~drama_queen~

noone has ever died in my family except for all of my grandmas and almost all of my grandpas



CONFUSION!!!!!!!

MarkoJaric55 wrote:noone has ever died in my family except for all of my grandmas and almost all of my grandpas



CONFUSION!!!!!!!

Now is that really helping. Your not giving any type of support or advise.

Hey Drama Queen,

Im very sorry about what happened to your grandmother. I lost my father when I was seven and I was really close to him. I know it is probably very hard right now (and im sure you've heard this a million times) but things WILL get better. Death is hard to deal with, but just remember that she is with you everyday in your heart and I'm sure she's in your memory. I know this post is a couple weeks old and I'm sorry I did'nt reply earlier I actually just read it but I hope things have gotten a little better. How are you feeling now?
Take care hun,
Kayty

Hey Kayty,
Thanks for your support!!!! I'm so sorry that you lost your father at such a young age, but I'm glad that things have gotten better for you; it gives me hope that with time things will start to get better for me and my family, too. I'm doing a lot better now, although my mom is having a pretty hard time, but we're all doing our best to help each other out. Like you said, she's still in my heart and soul, and I know that I'll never forget her!
Thx again for the advice, hon, and take care of yourself! I hope ur doing okay, too; I'm hoping and praying for you!!!!
<3
drama_queen

Thx again for the advice, hon, and take care of yourself! I hope ur doing okay, too; I'm hoping and praying for you!!!!

Yourwelcome hun,

I'm doing ok and I'm doing the same for you.

The best thing is to be there for eachother so keep doing that and eventually thing will start to get better. I wish the best for you.

Take care,
Kayty