Skydived and didn't feel anything

Hi all

Not sure this is in the right place, if so I do apologize.

Yesterday I did my first skydive ever and I didn't get any sensation out of it whatsoever. From the moment I stepped into the plane till I was back on the ground I didn't get any moment of nervousity.

I don't feel happy in my life as I have a very low self-esteem and have a bad look on the future. I have days on which I feel great, but the next I could be ever so low. I don't think I have a major depression, but a slight one.

During the jump and when hanging under the canopy I wasn't admiring the view or the sensation, I was thinking about my problems...

Could this be related to the fact I didn't feel anything on my jump?

Hi RestUnknown,

What you've described is a symptom of depression called ahnedonia. It's when you cannot gain any pleasure from activities that normally would. When severely depressed I stop feeling and begin to think more as well.

I hope this passes for you soon.

I've been feeling like this lately. Just have not been able to get any fun out of human interaction, which is pretty crushing to me. Getting no feeling from something like skydiving is a cause for concern because it's pretty characteristic of something which would get someone fired up and having fun. I also have low self-esteem and don't see great things coming in future as well. It's worse sometimes, like right now, where I find it very hard to believe that anything good will come from me living and doing things. When I was in a room today with people who were talking I kept drifting off into my own thoughs, even though I wasn't really think much (it was more of a sad distracting feeling which precoccupied me from having any fun or feeling anything real). I think being precoccupied with your problems have a lot to do with it. The way I see it is like this: your thoughts of your problems are overshadowing possible fun.

Thanks for your responses.

Today I skydived again and even had a small malfunction of the canopy. Nothing major and could resolve it quickly. But one would suspect your heart would start racing and adrenaline start pumping if after only three jumps something happens with your canopy.

But NOTHING, I simply felt nothing, not even a slight heart raise. I'm sick and tired of this, I can't enjoy anything anymore. People say I have no enthusiasm for anything (but this could partially be of my low self-esteem). I want help, but I can't afford it, I'm still a student...

Anyone know what I can do for self-help?

I reckon if you boosted your self-esteem, then it might follow that you find enjoyment or enthusiasm in things. Do you keep fit? Are you happy with your social life? Good diet? See enough sunlight? Do you think there's things you could be doing which you don't do for whatever reason? What could you do to change the way you see yourself for the better? I don't actually know, but I'm trying to think. What increases my self-esteem is talking to people who I'm afraid to talk to, and throwing myself into situations from which I can't escape easily. Do you know some activities that make you uncomfortable but you think might be beneficial? Maybe there's some things you're doing at the moment which are making you feel emotionless, like spending a lot of time on something you don't enjoy or doing something harmful to you or just a general dissatisfaction with where you are and what you could be. Try to identify what you want and what you don't want and make steps to change your life to suit what you do want - that's what I did anyway, and it's working really well so far. Maybe it would help to express yourself as well, through whatever form you want. Perhaps there's things that are bugging you from the past that you haven't talked about to anyone - if so, then it would probably help to get these things off your shoulders (not to me necessarily, just to someone who cares about you). Last question: do you feel detached or distant from your life, as if you're watching the actions but not completely there?

I'm gonna respond to every single question in the hope some may recognize the problem.

- Keeping fit => I work out and go jogging for a bit

- Social life => not really, to be honest I find my friends to be nerds and am often ashamed to go out with them. Horrible I know. But I feel this way because another part of my social life (having no girlfriend) is the cause of this, I think I have no girlfriend and will not find anyone is because they are like this (I know, friends are often a like, therefore I also feel like a nerd, although I don't consider myself one)

- Good diet => I'm quite slim and have a normal diet, eat junk food maybe once a year

- Enough sunlight => if the sun is out, you can find me outside

- Things I could be doing => be more social. Recently I had a studentjob with a position where I stood alone. Other co-workers said "we know this can be a lonely job, but if it's a calm period, be free to come over and have a chat with us". I never did this and I could tell these co-workers took distance from me, but I simply don't know what to say

- What I could change => I guess it's to be not to over think, I think if I talk to people I just met, I come over as to much trying, that they can tell I'm just saying something to make conversation. If I see 'normal' people do this, they come over naturally and be instantly liked. I want to be like this, but as I said, I always feel I have this underlying tone of "trying" if you know what I mean

- Activities I feel uncomfortable => these social activities I described

- Feeling detached or distant => not really, I'm completely aware of what I'm doing, I just don't feel any enjoyment

I guess my main problem is the social part and mainly the fact I have not really anyone like a girlfriend. Also I don't have anyone where I can talk too. I have my friends, but I can't tell them a thing, they're not the kind of people where you can talk too about your problems.

Thanks for your response!

RestUnknown: I'm going to read your replies again, but first a few thoughts re "not feeling anything." Basically feelings are body sensations. Also we create feelings with our thoughts. Since we can have some control over our thoughts we can have control over how and what we feel. We can think ourselves into feeling sad, happy, depressed, interested, turned on, indifferent, turned off, amused, and hundreds of other ways of feeling. Do you agree, disagree?

You label your state of mind, your feeling even while sky diving as "not feeling anything." That can't be true. Did you feel the jerk when the chute opened. Did you feel any wind? Did you feel an impact when you landed, your knees flexing? I, or you, could go on and on labeling dozens, probably hundreds of things you felt during your sky dive. Do you agree or disagree?

Now, rethink a bit. What did you mean by saying you "didn't feel anything?"

You say in your first post, "I was thinking about my problems." The answer to your final question is "yes."

I won't go on and on. I'll wait for your reply to the questions I've asked. Then we can go from there.

I agree you can think yourself into depression and sickness, but I believe this can only be achieved because you already had misfortune.
The same as with happiness, recently I believed you can make your own luck, but I tried thinking positive, changed my lifestyle, but it didn't help a bit. In fact, it made it even worse. I read so many self-help books, but now I analyze every situation, I search behind every motive of what people are saying. This has come to a point where I don't say anything anymore because everything you say has an underlying reason of making yourself feel better (yes it is). A simple example: I don't say to my friends what happened at skydiving simply because I would say it so they would pick in and start asking more questions so I would be in the 'spotlight'. Every person talks and tells stories to be in this spotlight. I can't deal with this anymore.

Situation that just happened: I went to a barbecue with friends, my friends aren't just that talkative to me anymore as they used to be. I can accept this, I simply don't say sh*t anymore. I just sit there, my mind is most of the time wandering of... This HAS to stop, I feel like I am losing everything, even though I try everything to make things better.

Everything I say or do is with an underlying reason. Even the last sentence I will write in this post is because 'if I will be friendly, good things will happen'. Nothing I do anymore is genuine, everything is done for a reason.

I also agree I feel the wind, the impact,... But I didn't get this feeling of being alive, of enjoyment, of exctasy,... Such a feeling is what I want, I want a feeling that could change me, I'm sick and tired of feeling this way. I'm wasting my years.

Thanks for your response.

RestUnknown: It's tempting to say, "Stop thinking so damn much." Or, "Everything has a reason, so what?" Instead I'll suggest you simply try staying here and now, in your body and your senses, not all up in your head where you seem to be now.

To do that takes concentration, focusing, paying attention. The more you do that the better. Simply stay aware of your breathing as much of the time as you can. Exhale completely, shoulders dropping, chest collapsing, diaphragm relaxing and stomach collapses last. That gets all the air out. Inhaling reverses the process, stomach expands, chest next, and finally that little shoulder lift and you've taken a full healthy breath. Healthy breaths are good for you.

I do that. It works for me keeping my bipolar manic genes under control. It also keeps me happy. I think far less than you. I concentrate on here and now much more. If you do that, it might work for you. I look forward to hearing whether you do it.