Unsure What This Thread Is About!

I am experiencing something bad. I feel I am getting worse. A relapse maybe?

Basically I have no confidence at all. At work, when working with my colleagues. I feel anxious. I ask for reassurance. If I complete a task, I show or seek approval from my colleagues. I feel I can't say or do anything right. If I ask the residents something. I like to do it without my colleagues around. If they are, I keep putting it off. If I feel I have done or said something wrong. I go home worried and scared about it. Some of my colleagues treat me like I am thick or stupid. This has increased my anxiety and stress. I feel paranoid all the time. I feel my colleagues are talking about me. I don't accept compliments from anyone. I have requested to work weekends. This way I am on my own. When I do work on my own, I can do my work without any problems. I feel at my most happiest. I can't follow instructions or concentrate when I am put on the spot. My mind goes blank. I can't function properly.

To be honest, I feel incredibly vulnerable at the moment. I don't sleep or eat well. I feel tired, tearful all the time. I feel stressed most of the time. I push myself a lot of the time. I take more on than I should. I start to think I am stupid and thick!

In my personal life, I am starting to withdraw within myself. I feel I don't want to be around people. I just want to stay in my room and use the Internet.

I'm not sure why I posted this thread. Maybe to release my feelings or get it out!

I don't even know what I am asking for!

I can relate to most of that, apart from seeking and asking for others approval. I don't like to do that, for fear of inviting negative responses.

I'm really sorry you have to go through that, I can relate to a lot of it, too. Trust me, you are not thick or stupid!