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Is there any point anymore?

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Is there any point anymore?

Postby Purple » Mon Apr 24, 2006 9:24 pm

I'm a failure at life. I am incapable of making a serious relationship last, I lose more friends than I keep, I'm fat and stupid and ugly to boot. I look around and I don't see any reason to stay alive. My death would not affect anyone, no one's life would be ruined, and since I do nothing as it is, no one would notice my passing. Everything I have tried to do to improve my life has failed. I'm sick and tired of being alone and of not having anything I can believe in. Nothing in my life, not even religion has been able to be there and never fail me. I have some friends, but if I ever opened up tot hem I'd be called a drama queen and get shunned. All I want is an end to the pain and something I can look on and be proud of, and it be worthy of others' admiration. I just want the same life those around me have. What is so wrong with me that I can't even accomplish the same things in life as anyone else? I feel like I'm running out of time to make my life anything worth while. I don't even know what I would do now since I've failed at everything else I've tried to do. Even when I find a group to fit in with, I never fit in enough. I always am wrong in some way. My entire life has been spent on the outside looking in, and I don't know how to be needed or to belong. I see no reason to continue living. Sorry for taking up your time.
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Postby Butterfly Faerie » Mon Apr 24, 2006 10:32 pm

Purple you definatly are not a failure. Depression is horrible, it is for everyone who suffers from it... I for the longest time could not get into a serious relationship. I was able to in 2001 and have been with this person for almost 5 yrs. Depression can be dealt with, once it is then you can learn the different, positive ways to cope with it, that in turn will make you feel so much better, your thinking pattern will change as well and you wont think of yourself has a nothing, a drama queen and so forth...


Have you received treatment, or ever talked to your doctor about this?
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Postby Cnh- » Tue Apr 25, 2006 1:55 am

heYHEYhey depression is usually resulted from a simple chemical imbalance, why don't you try talking to a doctor about this and see if you can't get some meds and therapy? Try it, what do you have to lose?
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Postby Purple » Mon May 01, 2006 3:07 pm

The last psychologist I saw just tried to dump me off onto a different doctor. From my experiences, including here, I'm apparently just unable to be helped and nobody that anyone will listen to. I also have no desire to go on drugs. There's no need to hand over my paychecks to some bloated pharm company so someone can throw pills at me in the hopes I'll shut up and go away. It just seems that what I really want, no one is willing to give me. I just want someone's time and to be noticed. I can pay a psychologist for their time, but it's not like they actually care. I'm just another patient, same as anyone else, to them. May as well get a prostitute instead, one would probably be cheaper too, but even that isn't exactly being noticed and seen and spent time with like I want. I'm just not deserving of anyone's time.
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Postby moramind » Wed May 03, 2006 4:14 am

sounds like you need to make a choice to change things, what has happened in the past is the past, have you ever seen a movie where the characters life just seems to be going no where, and then out of no where! his/her life completely changed for the better, or maybe it didn't changed, they just learned to stop and smell the roses so to speak, well, it's not about living in the past, having the past being against your mind's door at every second, lettign all that bad stuff in, it's about now. what will you do with the next second of your life, how will you change it, and make it better, weather it be to change your status, like a job, or who you are living with, or just to maybe say, hey it's not that bad, and if you don't wnat to take pills, then don't, do somthing else, not harmful please! to fix it. just do whatever.
somtimes, it's like i want to touch these lights, and give into them become them, just a flash for a moment~in this world
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