Hi all.
So my parents keep saying they think I'm depressed and frankly, I have to agree, but I hate self diagnosis and I don't think they're much more qualified.
So, I'm gonna ask you guys for advice. I can't sleep, I'm increasingly losing my appetite, I'm gaining weight, I have intense, sudden, and unprovoked mood swings, I can't work, I can't think, and I've been having suicidal thoughts more and more often (not just "i wonder if" but "i'm going to" and then dismissing the thought when i end up not having the opportunity). I wouldn't dare off myself because I know that there are people who care about me and I would never do that to them, but that makes everything about a thousand times worse somehow, knowing that I have the potential to bring down or inconvenience or otherwise trouble other people's lives; I have nothing to offer, only problems, and I want to stop existing so that those problems can stop happening to people that care about me. I am no longer interested in anything, even things that used to be my passions and life goals. I don't care about anything anymore, really.
I've been internally battling jumping out the third floor window for a few months now.
Anyway ugh, I'm sorry, that turned into a vent post.
So, is there any possibility that I may be depressed? It would really help if I had some basis of possibly knowing that I'm not just being stupid and having feelings.