I have the drugs, but do i have the guts?

I have alot of secret medication that I have stored away. I am planning on overdosing on them but I of course need to make a descison if I will act on it or not. I am sure it wont kill me but maybe i will be happy that i will be drowsy and fatigue for awhile. I have 110% support but it just isnt enough. I hate life so much. I am sick of feeling hopeless and stressed out. Escpecially with my eating disorder it just adds on to the cake. If I go to a hospital I will dissapoint my family and my therapuatic staff from my program. I am confused and lost. I have seen deaths on very intense movies. MAybe it wont be as painful as some say it is to kill yourself. I dunno what to do.

You wrote-“I am sure it wont kill me”- How do you know it won’t kill you? How do you know if these pills won’t damage your organs (specially brain then you’ll be moron). If damage occurs it only would make your life worse. To know what would happened you had to test it.

When you drink these pills they would change you, and that going to cause much more pain for your family. If you get 110% support then people won’t be disappointed in you, and would want to help. In fact if you do care about your supporters you wouldn’t do that to them. Think what would happen to them, and imagine yourself in their place. They tried to help, gave their time, opened to you, but you gave up and didn’t let them help.

Obviously taking pills is bad idea because a) it will screw your life further b) hurt loved.

Why do you hate your life?

The best thing to do is to get rid of these pills, because you know that they only could make your life worse.

Also seek help, and get your self out of this situation. Talk to your supporters and let them help you, talk to docks, or tell here what do you need help with & I try to help.

if it makes a difference my goal in life is to become like Teri Schivo. I am only saying it probly wont kill me cause i have done it many times and it really did not do much damage. Sure it can be different but not only is overdosing stupid but foolish. It wont solve anything BUT it could bring me a step closer to becoming like teri.

umm i am sorry, I just get worked up, I have no one to talk to so then i just lash out, I have a hard time expressing my feelins so i express them through purgin or cutting. I need to try and relax and think things over. I apologize again. I will stay safe tonight. Thank you for replying

Don’t apologize; expressing is what forums all about. If writing helps, do journal.
Also cutting and that crap doesn’t seem to be a good way to deal with problems. I recommend trying finding a better way to deal with your problems.

Identify what desirable results cutting gives you, and then try to get same result trough healthier way. Maybe instead you could try exercise, that helps me a lot.

bundy5000 wrote:umm i am sorry, I just get worked up, I have no one to talk to so then i just lash out, I have a hard time expressing my feelins so i express them through purgin or cutting. I need to try and relax and think things over. I apologize again. I will stay safe tonight. Thank you for replying

What's the medication bundy?

O.K is right SH is definatly not the way to go, and only makes you feel worse in the end, writting does help I agree with that. I had a little spurt of depression tonight, I went onto my sites and wrote, and it make me feel alot better.

I have some effexor, extra strength tylonal and lots of zyprexa,

I'm on Effexor, does wonders for my depression and anxiety.
Side effects suck , but that is the case with any medication you get...

What's the medication for exactly, the depression?

What is the Tylenol for? Besides headaches and aches and pains?

I did the same thing when i was in my mid-teens. I just grabbed a handful of medication and downed it.

Big mistake.

Trust me, what seems like solution...is no solution. It's just one more huge a$$ problem you'll have to deal with. You don't need that.

What actually helped me was picking up my guitar and going to live on basically a Christian commune for a few months, minus my mother, my father, my family, my school -- minus who everybody thought I was. I moved out and went to be with strangers and got to be just me.

Best time of my life; came right after the worst, came right after I stopped feeling like I owed anything to anyone.

Good luck.

sadgurl wrote:I'm on Effexor, does wonders for my depression and anxiety.
Side effects suck , but that is the case with any medication you get...

What's the medication for exactly, the depression?

What is the Tylenol for? Besides headaches and aches and pains?

Yes its for my depression how many mg's were u on? i am on 225