Depression/Grief Issues killing my spirit

I wish Depression and Grief never ever existed.
Don't You? But, I guess wishing something away won't help.
Today, The sun was actually shining, and it was 50 degrees here
in Watertown NY. That made me alittle happy, but not much. Grief and depression is killing my spirit. What I found exciting before isn't.
Even the birds singing in the trees were trying their best to cheer me up it seemed... I have to keep trying... It's hard. Now I have to go to another funeral soon. My bf's uncle past away from cancer the other day. It seems everyone is dying from this CANCER. Why?
Does anyone have any answers?

How did you tried to deal with your depression?
Do you have to go to funeral? What would happen if you won’t?
Why cancer? I could tell you scientific explanation (because cells don’t go through enterphase) the causes may include unhealthy life style, some (junk) foods, polution genetics, . However that is not what you are asking, right? It’s about fairness? Are you saying that me and you not having cancer is not fair? (If I am right what do you mean?) Or you are talking about death in general? We are biological things, and death part of life. Life is a time. What ever you do in your time is your life. If you do good things/work hard at something which makes you proud of your self you feel good. If you don’t do what you wish for & and what you believe is good/right/your potential- then you feel badly {negative feeling are saying it’s not where you want to be, & tells you to change in order to feel good)