It just isn't fair

I know this is childish, but I'm having an internal struggle. I have been smoking marijuana off and on since I was 14. (I am now 26). I really enjoy the insights that I receive when I am stoned, but I find that I have to be high pretty much constantly or completely sober to enjoy life. If I smoke off and on, the 2 days immediately following smoking I'm extremely depressed, and still not myself for up to a week. The times I have really been happiest in my life I was consistently sober, so you would THINK I would want that, but some part of me just wants to be able to get high without the BS.

There is this beautiful girl I met last year who is soulful and really happy with her life, successful, etc. She smokes every day, and I guess I'm just wondering how this can be that some people have really no problems with it, and if anything, it enhances their life, while I can be enhanced if I'm stoned all the time, but not really do it occasionally. Is it really all genetics or a state of mind?

Perhaps I'm just not in a good stage of my life socially and otherwise to where I don't have cares....

I think there are so many factors that come into play with this that it's hard to tell why you are sensitive to the marijuana while your friend seems to function fine with it.

Instant gratification is a huge motivator to get high instead of staying sober. If your life feels like it is overwhelming right now, it makes sense to change that feeling as fast as possible. That's addictive logic though. It's better to stay sober and work toward making your life more bearable.