Depression as a teenager (advice needed!)

I'm in my mid teens, and I've been depressed since I was 9. It didn't just slowly happen, it happened instantly. In one mintue, I realized that I was extremely unhappy, and had my first suicidal thought. (Stabbing myself through the chest. That seems so silly now.)

The urge to die never goes away, but sometimes it's stronger than others. I've tried on 4 occasions to kill myself. Once by hanging myself on my bunkbed. The rope broke. Twice by cutting my wrist, but the scissors I used both times weren't sharp enough no matter how hard I pressed down. The last time was more recent, a few days ago, I took a handful of OTC pain killers and went to bed. I was disappointed when I woke up, and I have told three people about it, but they don't take it seriously.
Since then, I've also been having some stomach problems (pain), so I think I might have damaged something.

Anyway, I need advice. I just don't see a reason to live, I haven't for years. Everything just seems pointless and to my few friends I'm always second best. I'm not important if they have someone else. The only friend I have that ISN'T like that is a guy that is trying his best to hate me, and make me hate him, because he hates everyone else. (It's so complicated, but he's really a nice guy. I would consider him a brother if I'd known him for longer.)
I've been living for my little sisters, one of which has told me that she considers me her mother- but this isn't enough anymore. Living for everyone else isn't enough, and I don't HAVE another reason to live. I told my mother three times in total that I wanted to kill myself, once outright, once vaugly, and a more recent time I jsut told her I couldn't cope and needed professional help. She said she'd get me help, but I haven't heard back from her since, so she's useless in this situation.

What can I do? Has anyone else made it through depression? And for MDD, what's the point of living if you're always sad? MDD runs in my family, on my mom's side, and I think my biological father was a sociopath (legit) so I've got bad genetics on both side. I don't know what to do anymore.

I take it you're not on an anti-depressant at this time? You didn't mention it. I don't know what otc med you took to kill yourself, but yeah, tylenol can cause fatal liver damage, and motrin can certainly cause intestinal bleeding and ulcers. Neither of which are painless ways to die.

If everything you say is true, and your mother won't get you immediate help, in my opinion, you should be removed from your home and placed somewhere where you can be cared for. Right now, you need to contact the police and tell them you think you might kill yourself. Or, if you can go to your local ER, you can go in there and tell them the same thing. As long as you are adamant about it, you will get the help you need.

You need immediate intervention. You are in danger and you need to be somewhere where you are safe. Then you might start to think rationally about this whole thing. If I knew who you were and where you lived, I'd be on my cell phone right now to your local police department. They would come and see that you got to the ER for an evaluation. Our society believes a teenager is worth saving at all costs. You have too much potential to do too much good in the world--for yourself and others--to just let you slip.

Good luck. I hope you don't hurt yourself, and I hope you get the help you need. All you have to do is ask for it.

rainbow-productions wrote:I've got bad genetics on both side.

Has anyone else made it through depression?

List of people with major depressive disorder

Isaac Newton
Robert Oppenheimer
Michelangelo
Martin Luther
Abraham Lincoln
Winston Churchill
Harrison Ford
David Letterman

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_people_with_major_depressive_disorder