My family wants me to go to a hospital because of depression

I became severely depressed almost exactly a year ago because of a circumstance that cannot be reversed, and it's something that I can't run away from or get over because the result is permanently in my life. My life went from about an 8.5 to a 0 in this year and I used to love to do things in public like going to state parks, fairs and festivals, wine tastings, museums, historic sites, restaurants, art events, going on day and weekend trips etc. anything fun and I have a great partner to do all that stuff with. But that person inside me is now gone, and nothing breaks my heart more. I don't even want to live anymore because I have no spirit like I used to have. All I do now is sit in my depressing condo, which I used to decorate so nicely and go on the computer and the tv is on all day. I just order frozen food online now instead of going to the supermarket. I sleep my life away on the weekend rather than getting up and cleaning or doing anything fun. I have no desire to leave my house, but have to when I work, but I get extreme anxiety on waking up every morning because i know i have to go out. Work is all my life is now, I get up, go to work then go home to my depressing place. My family just realized how severe my depression is and how I have changed and am not getting any better. They want me to go to a hospital to get checked out this weekend but I really don't want to go. I have been evaluated a couple months ago and they didn't accept me because I wasn't suicidal I believe. I am functioning, but barely. I don't know what to do because I have been to therapy and no one helps - I also have been on antidepressants which help with negative thoughts somewhat but aren't changing my situation. I try to do the things I used to do, but I don't get excited for them anymore and it just pains me anyway because it reminds me of who I used to be. I tell everyone I want to just die I guess that's why they want me to go to the hospital but I just want the comfort of my own personal space, even though I'm in anguish when I'm home alone. I really don't want to go so what should I do?

DangerousType wrote:I became severely depressed almost exactly a year ago because of a circumstance that cannot be reversed, and it's something that I can't run away from or get over because the result is permanently in my life. My life went from about an 8.5 to a 0 in this year and I used to love to do things in public like going to state parks, fairs and festivals, wine tastings, museums, historic sites, restaurants, art events, going on day and weekend trips etc. anything fun and I have a great partner to do all that stuff with. But that person inside me is now gone, and nothing breaks my heart more. I don't even want to live anymore because I have no spirit like I used to have.

I'm sorry to hear that. But in order to give any specific advise, you would have to give specific information. What happened to you?

All I do now is sit in my depressing condo, which I used to decorate so nicely and go on the computer and the tv is on all day. I just order frozen food online now instead of going to the supermarket. I sleep my life away on the weekend rather than getting up and cleaning or doing anything fun. I have no desire to leave my house, but have to when I work, but I get extreme anxiety on waking up every morning because i know i have to go out. Work is all my life is now, I get up, go to work then go home to my depressing place. My family just realized how severe my depression is and how I have changed and am not getting any better. They want me to go to a hospital to get checked out this weekend but I really don't want to go. I have been evaluated a couple months ago and they didn't accept me because I wasn't suicidal I believe. I am functioning, but barely.

In general you don't need a hospital unless you are suicidal, homicidal, helplessly addicted to something dangerous, a danger to yourself, overtly psychotic, or need to be kept safe until a medication can be found to help you. I would simply ask, Are you going to kill yourself? Are you thinking of it? Are you making a plan for it? If not, then you can be treated on an outpatient basis--and you want that, trust me.

I don't know what to do because I have been to therapy and no one helps - I also have been on antidepressants which help with negative thoughts somewhat but aren't changing my situation.

If the antidepressants are doing that, then they're doing their job. A pill can't change a bad situation. But keep this in mind: if in five years you are happy where you are, you will have this bad situation to thank. I went through two divorces, had I not, I would not be where I am, and I want to be where I am.

I try to do the things I used to do, but I don't get excited for them anymore and it just pains me anyway because it reminds me of who I used to be. I tell everyone I want to just die I guess that's why they want me to go to the hospital but I just want the comfort of my own personal space, even though I'm in anguish when I'm home alone. I really don't want to go so what should I do?

Based solely on what you've written here, I don't think you need to be in a hospital. I think you need some good advice and a plan for moving forward. Life changes on a dime at least a few times for everyone throughout the course of their life.

And I believe in the providence of God, so that means I believe that you have a purpose you were incarnated for in this life. God is going to try to get that out of you even if it kills you. That's just the way He rolls, in my opinion.

Have you ever thought this massive change in your life might be for the good? Keep in mind I have no idea what you're talking about, but you're anonymous here, why not talk about it? I, for one, am interested in what's going on with you.

I think people who are unfamiliar with the mental health system often believe that admitting you to hospital will at least let you have a few days rest and you can get involved in a treatment plan. Sadly the experience is unlikely, unless you are at a specific and imminent risk of harm to yourself, they will not admit you, which I kind of think is crap, but there you go. I think though the fact you have posted here suggests that you have some hope (no matter if its 0.000001%). Try to hold onto that, there is something in you that wants to fight.

I know you said you tried meds before but they didnt work as desired, keep trying. You may need to try lots before you get the right dose/combo for you. If at the very least, they can help reduce some of your negative thoughts, then it is better than not taking them. They cant change your past or your current situation, but they can help you get through the day until your depression starts to lift.

Do you have a current psychiatrist? If not, I would highly recommend it. Just to know that someone is invested in you getting better sometimes helps, if nothing else sometimes it gets me through (allbeit on a tightrope) knowing that I will have my appointment, and something will change. It also helps when someone can hold on your hope when you no longer can.

I wish you well, please let us know how you are travelling.

Thanks very much for the replies

The depression has to do with a loss of identity after a procedure that was done

I'm trying to get in touch with therapists and a psychiatrist again but the lack of motivation always stops me plus thinking about what approach they take and what approach will help me. And meeting them and not knowing if it will work or not. I had two therapists already that did not help me at all. I'm still trying but it's hard to find someone that can help you when they don't understand your feelings or situation.