Stuck in the past

Hey! First of all, I'm really glad that I was able to find this forum. I really needed someone to talk to and someone's opinion about my problem. Also, I'm sorry if this is the wrong section for my problem.

Here's what's going on: I'm 19 year old, finished high school about 1 year ago. My high school days were the best of my life so far... I had never felt so happy than I was in my senior year. And I'm the kind of person that treasures the past. So, in September of 2011 (last year) I entered college and... well, I couldn't move on. I only went to my first 2 days of classes and then barely ever tried to return there. At first, I didn't understand what the main problem was, but 1 year later, I finally do. I had so many friends and my parents were together (they divorced at the end of my senior year), between many other things. Then, after I stopped going to college, I don't really go out much. It's been 1 year and now I'm trying to re-take some high school classes to raise my grades and enter another course in college next year. However, I don't have many friends... actually, I barely talk to any of them anymore and it's hard to see all my high school friends moving on with their lives. I feel like I'm being a problem to my family too and I am always feeling depressed. I also have OCD, which would explain why I hold on to things so tightly.

Is it normal for me to feel this way? Does this happen with other people often? I just need someone's opinion in this case, so I don't feel so alone and (maybe) I can understand myself better. Thank you in advance!

I'm sorry no one got back to you sooner, but it is very normal to go through a horrific transition when one leaves high school. Suddenly, you are in the world of adults where friends are just acquaintances, and work is all that matters (whether it be college or school). Suddenly, you’ve had to wake up to the real world, as they call it.

Don’t worry about college right now. Take a year and work, seriously. It will do you a world of good. Or if finances and student loans and all that stuff necessitate you going to college, then go and just take your basic classes without any regard for a major at this point. You can always change it later.

OCD? You’d have to be more specific, but here’s what they told us flat out at the beginning of nursing school: If you’re not OCD now, you will be when you finish. And they were right: no one washes their hands as often as a nurse. And guess what? The OCD nurses are the ones who give the best care to their patients. A little OCD is good. Obviously, if it’s crippling, like Howard Hughes, it’s not good.

You have to realize something: friends will no longer be what they once were. If you get married, your spouse will be your friend. I have a zillion acquaintances and no friends, and that’s the way life goes. Everyone is in the same boat. It’s a normal part of life and development. It is the main issue in transitioning from an adolescent to an adult. So, it’s okay. Okay?

Finally hearing someone's opinion on my issue really took a weight off my shoulders! It's so good to know that someone understands my situation and doesn't think it's the end of the world, unlike my family, who seem to love to dramatize over my situation.

You're right, after we leave high school, we become acquaintances. The funny thing is, after months, we talk like we did in high school, even if we haven't talked for half an year. I guess that's good and it shows that I also was part of their lives at one point.

About the OCD, we must not forget that OCD doesn't only show through the "rituals" and "tics" you have. My OCD on that level isn't all so big, although I do have many rituals and tics. My biggest problem is how obsessive I get about some stuff and how much I fall when I lose them. According to the psychologist I went to last year, OCD also manifests itself in that way, and it really does explain most of my behavior.

BerryGirl wrote:Finally hearing someone's opinion on my issue really took a weight off my shoulders! It's so good to know that someone understands my situation and doesn't think it's the end of the world, unlike my family, who seem to love to dramatize over my situation.

You're right, after we leave high school, we become acquaintances. The funny thing is, after months, we talk like we did in high school, even if we haven't talked for half an year. I guess that's good and it shows that I also was part of their lives at one point.

About the OCD, we must not forget that OCD doesn't only show through the "rituals" and "tics" you have. My OCD on that level isn't all so big, although I do have many rituals and tics. My biggest problem is how obsessive I get about some stuff and how much I fall when I lose them. According to the psychologist I went to last year, OCD also manifests itself in that way, and it really does explain most of my behavior.

Well, if your OCD is becoming a major problem for you, you might want to see an MD. A lot of times a simple anti-depressant can make a huge difference in OCD. I'm curious, what kind of rituals and tics do you have?

I take bath 2 to 3 times a day. Even in the days I don't go out of my house (and the weird part is that most times I don't feel dirty but I have this need to take a bath). And when I'm cleaning, everything has to be exactly like I want it to be, or else I won't rest. It's like I'm lying on my bed and suddenly I remember something and I have to do that thing and I can't leave it for the next day. When I see something and I feel like eating it, even if I'm not hungry, I NEED to do it. And when I'm heading out of home, I check about 5 times if I have my keys, cellphone, wallet, etc. ONLY on my way to the bus station.

Yikes, now that I read it, I have a lot more than I thought...

I didn't notice I did all this and that it was a problem until I went to a psychologist last year. I'm thinking about returning, since I still have issues to solve.

BerryGirl wrote:I take bath 2 to 3 times a day. Even in the days I don't go out of my house (and the weird part is that most times I don't feel dirty but I have this need to take a bath). And when I'm cleaning, everything has to be exactly like I want it to be, or else I won't rest. It's like I'm lying on my bed and suddenly I remember something and I have to do that thing and I can't leave it for the next day. When I see something and I feel like eating it, even if I'm not hungry, I NEED to do it. And when I'm heading out of home, I check about 5 times if I have my keys, cellphone, wallet, etc. ONLY on my way to the bus station.

Yikes, now that I read it, I have a lot more than I thought...

I didn't notice I did all this and that it was a problem until I went to a psychologist last year. I'm thinking about returning, since I still have issues to solve.

Well, like I said, an anti-depressant is often helpful, like Paxil. But you'd have to talk to your psychologist and MD about that. I wish you the best of luck. I really do.

Take care,

Ed

BerryGirl wrote:I take bath 2 to 3 times a day. Even in the days I don't go out of my house (and the weird part is that most times I don't feel dirty but I have this need to take a bath). And when I'm cleaning, everything has to be exactly like I want it to be, or else I won't rest. It's like I'm lying on my bed and suddenly I remember something and I have to do that thing and I can't leave it for the next day. When I see something and I feel like eating it, even if I'm not hungry, I NEED to do it. And when I'm heading out of home, I check about 5 times if I have my keys, cellphone, wallet, etc. ONLY on my way to the bus station.

Yikes, now that I read it, I have a lot more than I thought...

I didn't notice I did all this and that it was a problem until I went to a psychologist last year. I'm thinking about returning, since I still have issues to solve.

CBT (Cognitive Behaviour Therapy) will help with the OCD and depression-try and get a psychologist that does CBT as I think that will help. I would definitely advise going to psychologist re CBT as CBT and GP re medication-the medication will boost your mood so that you can function and do basic tasks throughout the day.

To meet new friends, I'd suggest trying out a new hobby-something that's fun for you to do or a class so that you can learn a new skill and meet new people.